TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What the heck is a Marmol?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s Spanish for Fool’s Gold.
Phillip Thompson: Is it a small, fur-bearing, bug-eyed creature that’s not Jermaine Dupri?
Leo Ebersole: It’s the medical term for what happens when you try to say “Arnold” while chewing 10 Tootsie Rolls.
Brian Moore: A fast-acting Cubs pitching medication. Side effects: Strikeouts, fewer walks, less Wood.
Bag Boy: It’s a little known Spanish recipe: Sergio Mitre reheated.
TOPIC 2: Your impressions of the World Cup so far.
Jimmy Greenfield: I’ve looked for scores on the ESPNews scroll. Next up? Actually read a game story.
Phillip Thompson: Here’s my impression: “Allo, allo! I am ze World Cup. I am sexy, no?”
Leo Ebersole: Makes going south on the Dan Ryan feel like a Formula One race.
Brian Moore: It’s the most incredible stuff I’ve never seen.
Bag Boy: That’s what they call “tackling”? I’ll you show you tackling!
TOPIC 3: How amazing is Bernard Hopkins beating Antonio Tarver at age 41?
Jimmy Greenfield: OK, that’s pretty amazing. But I still think boxing is a dying sport.
Phillip Thompson: That’s astonishing. I hope Leo’s this good at the cha-cha when he’s 41.
Leo Ebersole: Um, isn’t this the same sport that gave us George “Grill Master” Foreman over Michael Moorer?
Brian Moore: Not any more amazing than Foreman winning the title at 45 AND inventing the Foreman Grill.
Bag Boy: If he can do that, then Jordan can make one last comeback. Hear me out!
TOPIC 4: What’s going to happen to Barry Bonds?
Jimmy Greenfield: He will serve two months in jail after pleading guilty to being a jackass.
Phillip Thompson: He will change how we use the word “asterisk.” As in, “You made a total asterisk of yourself.”
Leo Ebersole: God willing, he’ll continue to ruin my competitors’ fantasy baseball teams and then retire in October.
Brian Moore: With a little more work and a little more luck, he’ll fade from my memory.
Bag Boy: He’ll walk up to the pearly gates the day Babe Ruth is working the trap door.
TOPIC 5: The Rush played Arena Bowl XX in Vegas. What won’t stay in Vegas?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sexually transmitted diseases.
Phillip Thompson: Mike Hohensee. 1) Because his Rush won, 2) “Hohensee” sounds too much like an illegal peep show.
Leo Ebersole: Jimmy. His venereal disease is a different story.
Brian Moore: Dear God, I hope the Adrenaline Rush Dancers.
Bag Boy: The championship trophy, cuz it’s coming back to Chicago, baby!
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