1. Imagine
If you missed Britney Spears’ big interview on “Dateline” Thursday, don’t feel bad–we’re going to try to reconstruct it for you. Ready? OK, picture Matt Lauer firing questions at a watermelon in a low-cut dress.
2. “Love conquers all”
After watching that interview I’m starting to believe we underestimated Ms. Spears. Well, everything but her intelligence.
3. Cheap shot ahead
And the sweatiest city in America is … Phoenix. The armpit of America, however, remains Detroit.
4. Wide open
Thanks to his shirt, Jon Lovitz is now the third-largest beach in America. Take that, Galveston.
5. The new king
“Hips Don’t Lie” is once again the No. 1 song in America. Shakira, I dub thee “Pelvis Presley.”
6. From now on
Here’s to Jay-Z for giving Cristal the boot. I’m told that, in a show of solidarity, Diddy has pledged to take all future baths in Dom P.
7. Slam dance
MTV says Ozzfest is adding a new freak show to the tour. Go ahead and make your joke about the fans.
8. Let us pray
Did you see this story about U.S. bishops voting to change Catholic Mass? Yeah, they’re going to tweak the prayers to throw in something about getting “My Super Sweet 16” canceled.
9. With love
Remember to enjoy Father’s Day this weekend. And Dad, if you’re reading this, I need money.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
