Father’s Day is here. I wish all dads a sunny and joyous day. I am a former dad. Let me explain. I was a dad for about one minute eight years ago when my son was born. Within seconds, he was gone. Just like that, my lifelong dream of being a father was eliminated in a snapshot.
I was a dad all right–a dad who never got to hold his child in his arms.
I will not be celebrating Father’s Day today. I never have.
Unfortunately I was a dad who never had an opportunity to have a catch with his son or a chance to attend his bar mitzvah or wedding.
I was a dad–until a teary-eyed doctor came out into the hospital waiting room and wrapped his arms around me with the worst possible news. My son died from spina bifida. His spine was penetrating out of his neck.
My wife and I have never produced a child since. The love we have for one another keeps us strong and united. Our faith in God and praying seem to always work.
We’ve prayed a lot.
We’ve cried a lot too.
Amazingly we were married on Father’s Day: June 18, 1995. Today is our 11th wedding anniversary.
I have a message for all dads: Take a moment to hug your children every day and tell them you love them. Be the best dad you can be and never stop working at it. Nobody is perfect. Take a moment to leave work early if need be so that you can attend a Little League baseball game, a Friday evening football game, a spring concert, a graduation–and cheer on that child you produced with all the pride and spirit in the world. You deserve to do so. We all know that raising a child in the world we live in today is no simple task.
If you happen to be one of several hundred thousand-plus men who owe child support and have failed to act responsibly, now would be an appropriate time to pay up. It is not good enough for you to think that someone else is taking care of the bills–or your child. Don’t wait for the government to locate you. Eventually it will. Do the right thing and cut a check. Set a good example for your children. The way you act does affect the way your children will live their lives.
Whether you have five children or one child, never stop talking to and teaching your youngsters about the uprightness of character. Teach your children to love others and explain why it matters to want to help people who need assistance. Instruct your children about volunteerism and the value of honesty, and demand that each child you fathered receive a quality education.
Teach your child to have respect for elders and to emote when necessary.
Children attempt to emulate people they respect and admire.
Forget about athletes and movie actors. It is hoped that your child will be proud of you and want to strive to be as good a father and husband as you have been.
Being a father was a temporary thing for me; it is not, thank goodness, for you. It is a full-time job and a major responsibility. For me personally, Father’s Day and the word “escapism” go hand in hand. It is not just an unpleasant reality; it is what it is. To all the dads who read this, cherish your day and understand and appreciate how blessed you really are.
To my loving wife, Cheryl, happy anniversary. I love you.
