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TODAY’S QUESTIONS

TOPIC 1: How amazing is Dwyane Wade?

Jimmy Greenfield: More than Kreskin, less than a technicolor dreamcoat.

Leo Ebersole: I don’t know of too many other people who can carry Shaq.

Brian Moore: So amazing that he overshadowed Shaq.

Adam Caldarelli: For denying Mark Cuban the NBA title, I say he’s the greatest NBA player ever to lace ’em up.

Stick Figure: A, B, C, D, E, F, Geeeeee, H, I, J, Kaaaaay … LMNOPeeeeee …

TOPIC 2: The WNBA’s tallest player, 7-foot-2 Margo Dydek, plays here Friday. Predictions?

Jimmy Greenfield: She’s making out with Stick Figure by midnight.

Leo Ebersole: Tempers flare when a stadium attendant unwittingly starts hanging coats on her.

Brian Moore: The Bulls bring her in for a workout.

Adam Caldarelli: Would the 16th pick and Michael Sweetney be too much to offer?

Stick Figure: Clouds are made of cotton candy.

TOPIC 3: What would you do if Ozzie Guillen called you a name?

Jimmy Greenfield: I have very thick skin. That’s why I never have to wear pants.

Leo Ebersole: Being a gentleman, I’d propose pistols at 15 paces. And send Jimmy.

Brian Moore: Nothing. He’s perfectly capable of making an ass of himself without my help.

Adam Caldarelli: I guess it depends on the name, but probably not much.

Stick Figure: When adults argue, they shout so loud that I can hear them when I hide under my bed.

TOPIC 4: The biggest surprise of the World Cup so far has been …

Jimmy Greenfield: … the overly excessive use of face paint.

Leo Ebersole: … the U.S. frontline’s spot-on impression of a dead mackerel.

Brian Moore: What do we have here? Goldenpalace.com has not yet made an appearance.

Adam Caldarelli: … Fred.

Stick Figure: YAY! JELLY BEANS!

TOPIC 5: Why would Anna Kournikova consider a comeback to the tennis tour?

Jimmy Greenfield: Yes, I agree Anna Kournikova is totally hot.

Leo Ebersole: The folks at her grocery store are getting a little tired of her grunting.

Brian Moore: She’s still trying to shake that loser tag. And I don’t mean Enrique Iglesias.

Adam Caldarelli: Because the Internet just hasn’t been the same since she retired.

Stick Figure: Ever blow a chewing gum bubble so big it pops? I have, and let me tell you, it’s some kind of fun.

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E-mail us at redeyesports@tribune.com.