1. Hey now
Researchers say taking Viagra might improve the athletic performance of cyclists–and, for the fellas, eliminate the need for a kickstand.
2. Hard bargain
A Florida steakhouse is selling a $100 burger on its menu. For that price, I better be able to wear the toppings out on my next date.
3. Flashback
There was an item on people.com with a “witness” claiming that David Spade and Heather Locklear were spotted “kissing like a couple of teens.” So, what, their braces got tangled?
4. Squatter’s rights
A photographer was arrested when he was spotted in the bushes at Maddox Pitt-Jolie’s day-care center, E! Online reports. He was charged with being skeevy.
5. Update
Motley Crue and Aerosmith are calling their tour the “Route of All Evil.” The bands, of course, will be traveling that route on Rascal scooters.
6. Silence
CBS will send Katie Couric around the country to ask people what they want to see on the news. I imagine it’ll get awkward when no one says “Katie Couric.”
7. Bungle Sam
And so a new soccer slogan is born: Wait ’til four years from now.
8. Marathon session
A new “Lord of the Rings” collector’s DVD set contains five more hours of previously unreleased footage. As thrilling as it must be to watch Frodo pick his nose in the Shire, I think I’ll stick to the original edit.
9. Barista in chief
First Lady Laura Bush revealed that her husband brings her coffee in bed every morning. Asked to comment, the president’s top advisers said: “Wah-pshhhh! Wah-pshhhh!” while cracking imaginary whips.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
