Officials estimate the World Cup TV audience at 30 billion. The earth’s population is about 6.5 billion. One simple explanation: 23.5 billion Martians are stealing free cable.
2. It explains Bartman
And that’s right, Sox fans: All 23.5 billion of them are Cubs fans. Deal with it.
3. The ‘Idol’ minds
Here’s how you get more American viewers tuning in: Play the World Cup every year, let fans vote a champion, and have Simon Cowell rip the refs every Tuesday night on Fox.
4. Ignorance is bliss
Dusty Baker asking reporters not to ask him “When are you going to get fired?” is like Jen and Vince asking reporters to not ask “Are you a couple?” It only makes the sharks hungrier.
5. That said
Dusty, are Jen and Vince a couple?
6. Mad as hell
Can’t stop watching the Web video of that minor-league manager’s tantrum. And his line, “I could get two mannequins at Sears and umpire better,” is Hall of Fame material.
7. All together now
Brazil was clearly offside on that goal against Ghana, by the way. I could get two mannequins at Sears to make that call correctly.
8. Draft away
LaMarcus Aldridge? Tyrus Thomas? Andrea Bargnani? Adam Morrison? Brandon Roy? Jessica Alba? Any of these names would look good in a Bulls uniform.
9. The instigator
Part of preparing for Cubs-Sox is deciding on the guest that gets to throw out the first punch, er, pitch.
FIVE MORE …
Questions you cannot ask me:
– “Why did you pick the Netherlands to win it all?”
– “Buddy Ryan or Mike Ditka?”
– “What’s Snoop really like?”
– “Should you be fired?”
– “Can I ask another question?”
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redeyesports@tribune.com
