TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What would you trade the Bulls’ No. 2 pick for?
Jimmy Greenfield: I’d never trade it. But I would rent it out on weekends.
Phillip Thompson: A player and cash? How about draft picks and cash? How about Tango and Cash?
Leo Ebersole: Jay Leno. Then assign him to be at Dwyane Wade’s side 24 hours a day.
Bag Boy: A proven scorer with some beef and a few titles under his belt. So, Brazil’s Ronaldo.
STICK FIGURE: My head feels funny because I have World Cup fever!
TOPIC 2: Ronaldo’s 15th goal is a World Cup record. What’s next for him?
Jimmy Greenfield: He’ll celebrate by treating himself to a Brazilian wax.
GOALLLLLLLL!
Phillip Thompson: By Brazilian law, supermodel Gisele Bundchen owes him a month of massages.
Leo Ebersole: Three cheesesteaks, from the look of him.
Bag Boy: He signs with the Detroit Lions never to be heard from again.
STICK FIGURE: Just like me, Donald Duck doesn’t wear pants.
TOPIC 3: Roger Federer won a record 42nd-straight grass-court match. What’s next for him?
Jimmy Greenfield: A spot of tea.
GOALLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Phillip Thompson: That’s fine. Now he has to master clay. First the courtsurface, then pottery, then Aiken.
Leo Ebersole: He’s in talks with Fox for “Tennis on Ice.”
Bag Boy: Cubs manager.
STICK FIGURE: Seriously, who drew this stuff on my head. It’s not very nice.
TOPIC 4: Can you predict the impact of the NFL banning amphetamines?
Jimmy Greenfield: Thomas Jones will get rid of his Komodo Dragon.
Phillip Thompson: C’mon, NFL, they’re not addicts looking for an edge, they’re just social speeders.
Leo Ebersole: The game slows down to the same speed at which the Bears run their offense.
Bag Boy: There will no longer be a need for slow-motion replays.
STICK FIGURE: I once got a pogo stick for my birthday. I named it Pogo.
TOPIC 5: What sport would Superman play the best?
Jimmy Greenfield: Jai-Alai.
Phillip Thompson: Pocket pool. Hey, when you wear red bloomers you invite those kind of comments.
Leo Ebersole: The X-ray vision says “poker”; the tights and the traveling say “the NBA.”
Bag Boy: Strong upper body, great speed, sharp eyes. If he can pass the steroid test, I say baseball.
STICK FIGURE: Will this ink come off my head?
I don’t want to ruin my pillow.
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