TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Name one feature that the new NBA ball doesn’t have but should.
Jimmy Greenfield: Pen knife. You never know when you’ll need a good pen knife, especially in the fourth quarter.
Phillip Thompson: An inflatable ego. I’m sure Stephon Marbury has a spare.
Leo Ebersole: A microchip that plays the “Baywatch” theme every time Dirk Nowitzki touches the ball.
Adam Caldarelli: Instructions on how to use it for Tyson Chandler.
Bag Boy: A wireless connection for ordering nachos from thefoul line.
TOPIC 2: The Sky says mascot Sky Guy sprained his ankle. Can you replace him?
Jimmy Greenfield: Wearing a fake head is a violation of my probation, and attending WNBA games is just a violation.
Phillip Thompson: I say the Da Bull mascot who got fired for selling “Da Chronic.” He’s always sky high.
Leo Ebersole: No, actually, it’s kind of poetic.
Adam Caldarelli: Ever heard of athletic tape, Sky Guy? Suck it up.
Bag Boy: It’s “bring your own bag,” folks. What time can I expect the limo?
TOPIC 3: A 105-year-old Georgia man claims to be America’s oldest bowler. His biggest challenge?
Jimmy Greenfield: Finding an alley that stocks size 101/2 wheelchairs.
Phillip Thompson: Making sure he doesn’t roll the ball in the gutter–with his arm still attached.
Leo Ebersole: Remembering that the lane attendants will send back a fresh ball but not a fresh diaper.
Adam Caldarelli: The beer frame. The bar doesn’t serve prune juice.
Bag Boy: Somewhere, out there, a 104-year-old bowler is surely aiming for the title.
TOPIC 4: Use one word to describe a Sox fan’s attitude heading into the Cubs-Sox series?
Jimmy Greenfield: “Guillen-tine.”
Phillip Thompson: A mixture of “pity” and “disdain.” Like buying Blackhawks tickets.
Leo Ebersole: “Pffffft.”
Adam Caldarelli: “Smug.”
Bag Boy: “PrayingtheTigersfinallyloseafewgamesinarow.”
TOPIC 5: Did Star Jones’ announcement on ‘The View’ just rock your world or what?
Jimmy Greenfield: Well, I guess I’m back to exclusively watching Cinemax.
Phillip Thompson: Not only did the announcement rock Leo’s world, Star Jones did.
Leo Ebersole: Yes, but only because I took a shot of rum for every time someone on the show was being fake.
Adam Caldarelli: Good riddance. She never lets the “Survivor” chick talk.
Bag Boy: Never watched. More of an “Ellen” man myself. But don’t print that.
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