TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Predict one madcap moment in the Cubs-Sox series.
Jimmy Greenfield: Ozzie Guillen and Jay Mariotti embrace … right before Michael Barrett pummels both of them.
Phillip Thompson: If Barrett even blinks in A.J. Pierzynski’s direction, the Sox club him like a baby seal.
Leo Ebersole: Ryan Dempster doesn’t put anyone on base. CRAZY!
Whizzer: It’s a long story, but here’s the kicker: Chicago police horses 3, Cubs 2 (in extra time).
Tom Bentley: Ozzie Guillen goes out to the mound to change pitchers … in assless leather chaps.
TOPIC 2: Predict one tear-jerker moment in Cubs-Sox.
Jimmy Greenfield: First inning of Saturday’s game: My delicious corned beef sandwich falls on the floor.
Phillip Thompson: After much soul-searching, Dusty Baker decides to leave “The View.”
Leo Ebersole: Barrett and Pierzynski hug it out (and hit each other in the kidneys) at home plate.
Whizzer: Saturday’s hangover is merely a precursor to Sunday’s hangover.
Tom Bentley: Dusty Baker sees Ozzie in that outfit and swallows his toothpick.
TOPIC 3: Correctly use the words ‘Thabo Sefolosha’ in a sentence.
Jimmy Greenfield: “Thabo Sefolosha, can I borrow some money?”
Phillip Thompson: “I had Thabo Sefolosha, but it cleared up in a couple of days.”
Leo Ebersole: “The miracle of string cheese is the result of a procedure known as Thabo Sefolosha.”
Whizzer: “I’m calling a moratorium on all Thabo Sefolosha/Swiss cheese jokes.”
Tom Bentley: “I met a woman, one thing led to another, next thing you know, we’re doing the ‘Thabo Sefolosha.’ “
TOPIC 4: Why would Evander Holyfield come back to box?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s his lifelong dream to be brain-dead by 45.
Phillip Thompson: It’s no risk to him, his Medicare just kicked in.
Leo Ebersole: The man likes his ears nibbled every once in a while. Is that so wrong?
Whizzer: I told him that Leo called him a nasty name. Ebersole, come get your whoopin’.
Tom Bentley: Because Chuck Norris told him to.
TOPIC 5: Saturday is Canada Day. How do we celebrate?
Jimmy Greenfield: Same way I celebrate all Canada Days: Molson and hookers.
Phillip Thompson: In the spirit of that country’s sense of adventure, absolutely nothing.
Leo Ebersole: We release a flock of Labatt Blue into the wild.
Whizzer: Send your best Canadian friend a photo of North Carolina’s Stanley Cup.
Tom Bentley: What and where is Canada?
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