You know how it is when it’s too darn hot, and no one wants to get all dolled up just to head to some trendy restaurant? Instead, you say, “Screw it,” and round up the gang for a weekend at your fabulous lake house. You spread out a blanket on the pier–or maybe unmoor the boat for a twilight cruise–and let the party begin. The cool lake breeze. The gentle sound of breaking waves. The friends. The laughs. It’s just heaven, right?
Wait: You say you don’t have a boat? Or a lake house? Oh, wait: Neither do we! What’s up with that? I guess we were thinking of a photo spread we saw in some issue of The Robb Report.
No wonder we were so excited when Flatwater opened last week. Filling the space last held by Sorriso on the bank of the river, the restaurant promises a waterside lifestyle without requiring you to buy your own weekender. It’s got dockside drinks, unfussy food and a swanky patio. If you do have a boat, you lucky dog, it even lets you float right up and join the party.
We checked out the place Saturday but think that, though summer will soon be over, you may want to still keep an eye out for friends with money (and boats): Flatwater’s already packing ’em in, but it still needs time to plot its course.
The problem: Flatwater feels like it opened in a rush to make the most of summer weather–so it lacks polish. The patio’s complete, save for a retractable awning that should be finished by end of summer, but other final touches are still being put in place. As of our visit, there was lumber lying around in the elevator vestibule, no mirrors in the bathroom, unfinished detailing on the walls and a half-completed indoor-outdoor bar.
That said, based on what is indeed finished, the place probably is going to look great. We love the big flagstone wall and the lit-from-beneath marble bartop. It’s all very Reno in the early ’60s. The music, however, goes for a modern lounge feel, with house beats permeating. (The scenesters behind Narcisse also are responsible for Flatwater.)
The interior is pretty small, seating about 80, and actually feels more like an upscale bar than a restaurant. If you’ve got friends in from out of town or need the perfect place to take a client for a cocktail, this will certainly be an easy win; the view of Wacker Drive is fantastic. Plus, there’s a pretty reasonable by-the-bottle selection available now, and management says a bigger, 50-bottles-under-$50 wine list is coming soon. We can’t wait to go back for a drink when everything is in place.
We don’t, however, have high hopes for the menu. The concept? All of your favorite comfort foods from around the world, gussied up and divided between appetizers, salads, sandwiches, flatbreads (i.e. fancy pizza), burgers and entrees.
This lengthy globetrotting list needs to step it up or risk having its passport revoked. Fried calamari ($7) is served with a not-so-spicy Thai peanut sauce. Sesame steamed gyoza ($7) offered a thick, indelicate, chewy take on a Japanese wonton. An heirloom Caprese-style salad ($9) was served with buffalo mozzarella that was tangy and sour rather than creamy and light.
Even prettified American classics struggle here. A flight of mini-hot dogs ($8)–a corn dog, a chili dog and a Chicago-style dog–arrived on a plate jazzed up with ketchup and mustard squiggles. Cute, but that itty-bitty corn dog was badly battered, and don’t get us started on the chili. Worse, the Chicago-style dog was served on a dried-out bun. Sacrilege!
Entrees weren’t safe harbor, either. A bland, overcooked, plum-miso glazed salmon ($14) was served with a side of equally bland, overcooked veggies. The kung pao chicken and noodles ($14) couldn’t decide if it wanted to be Italian or Chinese. It was so blah–where was that kung pao pow?–we didn’t care either way.
Service here seems to be doing its level best to keep up with the early interest (the place was already packed by Saturday night, always tough for a new restaurant still working out kinks). But my server ran an authorization for someone else’s bill on my debit card–giving me an overdraft scare the next morning. Though the manager eventually cleared up the matter for me, no one even apologized or seemed particularly concerned.
Maybe they were just lulled by that fantastic view of the river.
FIRST LOOK
Flatwater
321 N. Clark St.
312-644-0283
MORE WET WEEK
Wednesday: The Flirts hit the deck. Plus, soak up hosted cocktail hours and wacky fish dishes.
Thursday: Swig these splashy summer beers.
Friday: Wet and wild weekend best bets!
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CLAMORTE@TRIBUNE.COM
