We sit at chicagoredeye.com/fiveonfive all day waiting for mail because, well, we love mail. RedEye reader Patrick Olson sent mail asking to be in Five on Five. Together, we made the miracle happen.
TOPIC 1: THE CUBS AND SOX EACH FACE NY TEAMS. WHAT’S ON THE LINE FOR BOTH TOWNS?
Phillip Thompson: The right for all of them to mock the Cubs.
Leo Ebersole: For the Sox, a chance to re-assert their dominance. For the Cubs, a chance to audition for the Mets.
Brian Moore: Settling the age-old, mankind-stumping “deep-dish vs. N.Y.-style” pizza debate.
Whizzer: N.Y. wins, they get Oprah. We win, we get Regis and trade him to L.A. for a pick and cash.
Patrick Olson: Chicago, civic pride. New York, Steinbrenner’s forehead vein bursts if the Sox take two.
TOPIC 2: IF YOU PLAYED HOOPS ON THE AND 1 MIX TOUR, WHAT WOULD YOUR NICKNAME BE?
Phillip Thompson: “Dribble ‘N Drool.”
Leo Ebersole: “Below the Rim.”
Brian Moore: “The Assassin.” Of course, most people call me the shortened, three-letter version of that.
Whizzer: “The Elevator.” And I will hum Kenny G’s “Songbird” all game long.
Patrick Olson: “Hot Dog.” Not for my playing style, but I’ll be on the bench eating them.
TOPIC 3: IF CHICAGO BUILT AN OLYMPIC STADIUM, WHAT COULD WE NAME IT?
Phillip Thompson: “Chicagolopolis! Bring forth the sacrificial Trixies!”
Leo Ebersole: “Lakeshore Bribe.”
Brian Moore: It better be called “Daley Dome,” or someone’s out of a job.
Whizzer: “Not Your Father’s Old Meigs Field.”
Patrick Olson: “Ditka Dome.”
TOPIC 4: FLOYD LANDIS IS TO LANCE ARMSTRONG AS ….
Phillip Thompson: … Floyd the Barber is to Sam the Butcher. OK, that’s enough TV Land for the month.
Leo Ebersole: … as David Wright is to Derek Jeter. He’s got some ground to cover yet.
Brian Moore: … Phil and Leo are to Venus and Serena Williams.
Whizzer: … the second Darrin on “Bewitched” was to the first Darrin.
Patrick Olson: … Whizzer is to Snoopy.
TOPIC 5: DID ANYONE HERE WIN AN ESPY?
Phillip Thompson: Not unless athlete’s foot counts as a category. Right, Patrick?
Leo Ebersole: Nope. I guess streaking after NU beat Wisconsin didn’t qualify for Best Moment.
Brian Moore: I hear Whizzer won best mascot in a supporting role, female.
Whizzer: No, if I want to hold a little 1-foot statue, I just carry Brian around.
Patrick Olson: Leo won an Inspirational ESPY for shooting a 68 on Golden Tee after 13 Jagerbombs.
