1. The breakthrough
I’m reading that a chimpanzee will compete in the upcoming World Series of Poker. Reminds me of the time Paris Hilton got her first movie role.
2. Clear the room!
How exactly does a pro poker player react when the chimpanzee at the table declares he’s going “all in”?
3. TMI
The Sci Fi reality show “Who Wants to be a Superhero” kicks off Thursday. It’s the early favorite to win the Emmy for worst use of spandex.
4. Big-time Daddy
Tracy Morgan (right) unveils the luxe version of the crappy Father’s Day tie.
5. Sad but true
Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza of Puerto Rico was crowned Miss Universe Sunday night. This is what Miss USA gets for ignoring my advice to burp the alphabet on stage.
6. Not that I saw it
I have to admit, though, that Miss Puerto Rico looked great in her gown and–oh, God, I’ve said too much! DELETE! DELETE!
7. Play it back
For his next album, Rod Stewart plans to cover “Great Rock Classics of Our Time.” The man recycles music like Diddy and Jessica Simpson on a caffeine binge.
8. And bad breath
All this money “Pirates of the Caribbean” is making only strengthens my resolve to have a parrot and a bottle of rum with me at all times.
9. He WHAT?
On the list of things I wasn’t expecting to happen last week, “Fred Durst gets engaged” ranked about even with “Meteor hits Streeterville.” But I’ll be damned–the Burrito Beach is still standing.
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lebersole@TRIBUNE.COM
