New Bulls premium bench seats: $2,500 a game.
Nachos: Don’t ask, just charge it.
The look on Flip Saunders face when Ben Wallace blocks his first Pistons shot: Priceless.
2. Just weird
The Pirates are closer to passing the Cubs than the Sox are to passing the Tigers. Rectify this.
3. Life is good
Twins catcher Joe Mauer is hitting .381 and dating a former Miss America. I tell you what can cap off this magical year: A third-place finish in the AL Central.
4. The Zinedane Effect
A jockey is being investigated after TV replays showed him head-butting his horse. Please don’t tell me the jockey says the horse called him a terrorist.
5. Safe bet
The horse won’t talk to investigators.
6. Speaking of betting
I was all for microchipping Chicago dogs until I found out it has nothing to do with getting comped at my Vegas casino.
7. State of sports
If I hear another Yankees fan groan about A-Rod’s recent slump, I will gag. Look, $252 million just doesn’t buy you what it used to.
8. End game
Thanks to the British Open streaker, our long drought of streaker-less international events is over. Next up: Monday Night Football.
9. Life isn’t fair
Floyd Landis’ coach said Landis doesn’t want to be the next Lance Armstrong. He wants to be the first Floyd Landis. And I want to be the first Mr. Jennifer Aniston. It ain’t happening.
FIVE THINGS …
My five goals for Landis:
– Top 5 finish in the Indy 500.
– Avoiding appearing on “The View.”
– Deliver my pizza in 30 minutes or less.
– Ride a tandem bike with Armstrong.
– Become “two-time Tour de France champ.”
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redeyesports@tribune.com
