Imagine taking your Caesar salad wrap with fruit and yogurt to work, placing it in the refrigerator and going to fetch it later, only to find that it’s gone, filched by a co-worker.
Carol Roht worked with a fellow who did this regularly. He’d peer into the fridge in the teachers’ lounge, and if your smoked turkey on rye looked better than his peanut butter on white, he’d take yours and leave his.
“Some of the lunches were really expensive,” says Roht, a former reading teacher in Randolph, Mass. Whenever he was confronted, the lunch-leech would say, “oops, I thought that was mine.”
Everyone has a workplace horror story: the colleague who bores you numb with endless stories of her perfect children. The one who yaks non-stop while you’re trying to work. The cell-phone addict whose “private” conversations are anything but. The co-worker who eavesdrops on your every word. The moocher who borrows money but never returns it and grabs from the office candy bowl but never contributes. The vicious gossip. The guy sitting next to you who looks –and smells–like a load of dirty laundry.
Like neighbors, we don’t get to pick our co-workers. But we are forced to spend eight hours or more a day in close proximity with them, protected only by a flimsy cubicle wall, if at all.
Irritating co-workers can be amusing–and they have been a staple of TV–from Mimi Bobeck on “The Drew Carey Show” to Dwight Schrute from “The Office” and Chloe O’Brian from “24”–but they also can be problematic.
A recent online survey by job-search Web site www.truejobs.com found that co-workers’ annoying habits are the No. 1 source of stress in the workplace. Nearly 60 percent of the 2,200 respondents said that such habits have negatively affected their work relationships, and 40 percent said they have led them to seek a different job. The top complaint was talking too loudly on the phone, followed by constant whining about work.
Despite the irritation, 54 percent of the respondents said they have not considered confronting their co-workers. Philip Quinn, a psychologist who heads the Employee Assistance Program at Bayview Associates in Quincy, Mass., deals with mental-health issues in the workplace such as team building, communication and conflict resolution. Over the years he has heard it all, with the most frequent complaint being that a co-worker isn’t pulling his or her weight. A close second is distraction caused by someone who talks too loudly on the phone.
Still, Quinn says he is amazed that workplaces chug along as well as they do.
“The boundary issues at work are so important,” he says. “Most of the time, they work fabulously well. When you think about how well people get along at work, with different personalities, different genders, it’s impressive.”
Still, when a co-worker gets on your last nerve, it can create a physiological reaction, such as rising blood pressure, that increases stress and decreases concentration, he says. If you have a toxic reaction to a colleague, Quinn suggests analyzing your own behavior.
“The first step … is to think about why this is irritating them so much. Let’s say you’re assigned something you don’t want to do, and then you have this person who talks a lot next to you. Are you irritated by the talking or the fact that you don’t want to do the task in the first place? A lot of people don’t like their jobs, and they find fault everywhere. Is it your issue that you’re projecting onto someone else?”
Of course, there are legitimate complaints too.
Peggy Rose, a Boston publicist, used to work for a downtown public-relations firm. One of her fellow workers, she says, drove the rest of them crazy with her Malady of the Week, sometimes accompanied by time off. “She’d fall, or she’d sprain her ankle, or she’d tell us about her sinus problems, her stomach issues. Once, she said her platelet level had dropped so low she needed to go to the hospital for blood transfusions.” Her suspicious supervisor went to the hospital himself: no sign of his employee.
There were other tall tales too: “She killed off more family members. … I think her grandfather died about four times. It really stressed me out because she got away with it, but then you had to feel sorry for her.
Quinn said if bad office conduct interferes with your work, productivity, and health, it must be addressed. He recommends using civility, not aggression, and says the offended party should role-play his speech first.
“If you’re too aggressive, the person is going to get defensive. Instead of saying, ‘I can’t get my work done because you’re talking too damn loud,’ say something like, ‘I’m on deadline, I really need to concentrate. I wonder if you can keep it down.’ “
If they don’t get the message, sit down with them and be more explicit, he says. And if the behavior continues or escalates, take it to a supervisor. On the other hand, if the behavior is minor and occasional, let it go. Some people have a better solution: Don’t work in an office at all.
Mark Breslin, an architect who lives in Milton, Mass., spent years in a firm until he finally went out on his own. He has never looked back. “The lying, the deceit, the indecisiveness drove me crazy,” he says. Breslin decided to open his own business out of his house.
“I love working alone,” he says. “I’m very productive. And I’m a control freak, so it works out perfectly.”
– – –
Annoying office characters
Every office has at least one office pest. Here’s RedEye’s list of some of the worst offenders.
– The Loud Speaker: Hasn’t mastered the “inside voice” and talks so loud on the phone that you, too, have to live through all her personal and professional drama.
– The Borrower: Always takes things from your desk, and you never see them again.
– The Groper: Always finds a way to put a hand on your shoulder or brush against you in meetings.
– The Close-talker: If she gets any closer you’d be making out.
– The Copier: Don’t worry about missing the latest hip catchphrase, you’ll hear it every time you run into him, usually accompanied by the ol’ finger pistols.
– The Whiner: Spends the entire shift complaining–about co-workers, workload, management, corporate policies. Yet he’s worked there for years and probably will never, ever leave.
– The Nervous Nelly: Twists her hair into dreadlocks, incessantly clicks her pen or constantly cracks her knuckles.
– The Noisemaker: Whistling, tapping, sneezing, humming or performing some awful impression at all times.
– The Fish: Gives you the hated Limp Handshake and has the personality to match.
– The Slow Joe: Takes an hour to explain something that should take a minute.
– The Breather: Has perpetual bad breath and needs a mint especially after 2 p.m.
– Mr. TMI: Has no filter. I’m sorry you and your boyfriend had a fight, but I don’t need to hear you tell your best friend on the phone about it in detail.
– The Smacker: Eats lunch at desk, very loudly.
– The Pseudo-Boss: You’re not the boss, and you have no power, so don’t tell me what to do.
– The B.S.er: Is master of the universe, loudly announces huge plans–but gets nothing done.
– The Looker: Male who rarely looks female colleagues in the eye, preferring instead the region south of the chin.
– The Cat Lady: The old woman with the terrible smoker’s cough whose desk is littered with tacky, plastic crap from area casinos. She spends her day telling stories about her magical cats and her gifted grandchildren.
– The Forwarder: No matter how funny the e-mail joke from your brother-in-law is, no one in the office really cares.
– The Fridge Foe: Better put a lock on that sandwich or else he’ll steal it.
– The Gossip: Always fanning the flames of office politics. Usually knows the latest scoop–but if not, makes it up.
– The Pre-Divorcee: Has daily fights on phone, for all to hear, about the messy divorce he or she is going through.
– The Know It All: Puts in his 2 cents in all conversations, even if he’s not involved. And he’s always right, or else he’ll keep talking. So, just agree with him.
– The Snitch: Loves to creep into your boss’ office to point out who is not changing the toner, isn’t pulling his weight on projects or taking one too many personal calls.
– The Yakker: Takes a seat in your cubicle and tells you about family vacations, new pets, latest diets and the details of his past six dentist appointments.
– The Sniffer: The girl (or guy) with too much perfume/cologne.
– The Echo: Thinks your idea sounds better coming out of her mouth. Known for stretching out brainstorming sessions to ridiculous lengths.
– The Pontificator: Nothing’s a simple “yes” or “no.”
– – –
REDEYE ON THE SPOT
RedEye asked: What kind of behavior by past or present co-workers really irks you?
“I’m not in an office. I work out of my home but I have the most annoying boss. He calls me every day, bugging me about the little nit-picky things. He’s always on me about this and on me about that. Everything has to be perfect.”
CARL SMITH
[ 36, Hammond, Ind., outside medical sales ]“The thing that really annoys me is when someone walks around the floor with their headset on, talking on the phone. I don’t know why, but he just can’t sit at his desk and talk. Everybody has to hear his conversation.”
LYNN DAVIS
[ 42, South Loop, banking ]“Two things really bug me. There are the people who suck up and just don’t stop, constantly saying, ‘Well I just did this and this and this’ when you want to tell them, ‘That’s your job, so just do it!’ And then there are the people who like to hear themselves talk. It’s not even worth trying to say anything in a meeting because they are constantly going.”
DONNA TURNER[ 46, Gary, Ind. ]
“I used to work in an attorney’s office, and there was this constant sexual conversation. It would be small cracks between an attorney and a secretary. It seemed like harmless flirting, and nobody ever really complained about it, so I don’t think that’s all that bad. But the relentless ass-kissing and sucking up to the boss that happens in some offices, I think that’s what creates problems.”
Jim Burk
[ 33, Oak Lawn, works at a bank ]———-
Do you have a horror story about an annoying co-worker? Tell us about it at ritaredeye@tribune.com. Please include your full name, age and neighborhood.
