1. Minnesota chill
Remember in “Fargo” when a frustrated Jerry Lundegaard scrapes ice off his windshield and then flings the ice scraper in anger? Yeah, that’s my image of a Sox fan right about now.
2. ‘Jeopardy’ time
Answer: 34-8. Question: What is the Twins’ record over the last 42 games? Follow-up question: Are you freaking kidding?
3. Damn them
Sat with some real live Minnesota people at one game and asked, “Anyone want to see a World Series’ trophy?” One of them replied, “Why? We got two of them.” I was so busted.
4. World Cup withdrawal
Mets 1, Cubs 0 in extra time. But seriously, the Cubs are 16-35 in day games, which means the Cubs are clearly justified to blame this nightmare season on the sun.
5. Bawl games
Sox fans think, “Lots of baseball left.” Cubs fans think, “When does Bears season start?”
6. Explain, please
Carlos Zambrano and Matt Murton each have four homers. In Murton’s defense, he hasn’t given up any.
7. Global domination
ESPN releases Madden NFL 07 Aug. 22. ESPN offers a $19.95 pay-per-view special about the making of the video game Aug. 4. Clearly, ESPN must be stopped.
8. It’s a tradition
Bears camp is here. Let the endless debates over who gets the backup offensive guard spots begin.
9. 2016, baby
Chicago needs these Olympics 10 years from now if only to guarantee that the Dan Ryan gets done by then.
FIVE THINGS …
… with fewer homers than Zambrano:
– Ronny Cedeno (2)
– “The Odyssey” (1)
– The Simpsons (1)
– RedEye’s Bag Boy (0)
– President Abraham Lincoln (0)
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redeyesports@tribune.com
