TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Make up a word to describe Jim Thome’s impact this season.
Phillip Thompson: “Splackowcular!”
Leo Ebersole: “Un-ARod-ian.”
Brian Moore: “Jimpendous-riffic.”
Mike North: “Tremendioso”
Bag Boy: “Yet-to-be-determined-esque.” Talk to me in November.
TOPIC 2: Where does Tony Kornheiser rank among all-time ‘MNF’ booth announcers?
Phillip Thompson: He’d definitely beat Dennis Miller in the first toe-to-toe battle featuring penny loafers.
Leo Ebersole: Above Dennis Miller, but far below Melissa Stark. She was in the booth at least once, right?
Brian Moore: Just a tad above dead air, but below Dennis Miller.
Mike North: He’s like any other NFL rookie. You can’t judge him until the season starts.
Bag Boy: Ahead of Alex Karras, behind Howard Cosell. Going old-school, kids.
TOPIC 3: With the risk of injury, should there be NFL exhibition games?
Phillip Thompson: You can’t rev up the car without warming up the engine. What are we talking about again?
Leo Ebersole: Yes. How else are Illinois’ seniors going to play in the NFL?
Brian Moore: There’s always a risk of injury. Suck it up, millionaires.
Mike North: Yes, because it keeps the bad boys off the streets.
Bag Boy: You can get hurt walking your doggy. Now do we need four of them? No, we do not.
TOPIC 4: Any advice for the Illinois team in the Little League World Series?
Phillip Thompson: Kids, it’s OK to make fun of others if it helps you win. And if you lose, you can’t come home.
Leo Ebersole: If you find yourself down four or five runs, check the other team’s birth records.
Brian Moore: If Floyd Landis offers you candy, run away.
Mike North: Yeah, watch out for Taiwan. They have goatees and shave.
Bag Boy: Rocky Balboa’s boxing trainer Mickey said it best: “Women weaken legs.”
TOPIC 5: Jillian Barberie’s out as the ‘NFL on FOX’ weather expert. Pick a replacement.
Phillip Thompson: Courtney Love. She’ll even bring her own “snow.”
Leo Ebersole: One of those weather vanes you see on top of barns. More personality than Howie Long.
Brian Moore: Shanna Moakler. She’ll need something to do now that she’s single.
Mike North: Joe Buck. They have him doing everything else.
Bag Boy: Look, half the stadiums are domes, and I need a full-time gig. Don’t make me beg here.
