1. You’ll pay
Seriously, guys, we have to stop spreading harmful rumors about Jennifer Aniston’s personal life, because the other day, someone told me she’s the leader of a cabal of deadly ninjas.
2. SoaP watch
Two days until “Snakes on a Plane.” National Geographic has announced an educational, snake-themed podcast that will launch Friday. It’s official: We’re in the grip of insanity.
3. Get smart
Scientists believe they’ve found the gene that helped the human brain evolve. The following is a list of places they didn’t find it: Fox prime time, Tommy Lee, the Fanta dancers …
4. You’re wearing that?
Does Hugh Hefner have to match outfits with all of his girlfriends? That would be the major drawback, I think.
5. Oh, good lord
Puck from “The Real World” just became a father for the second time. Just what the gene pool needs right now.
6. Oh, good lord 2
Gwyneth Paltrow says she’s ready to jump back into acting. Great timing. Hollywood was starting to wonder what to do with its surplus of crappy dramatic roles.
7. Coming soon?
A message on Smashing Pumpkins’ Web site says they are “at work on their first new album since 1999.” And all we selfish Chicagoans can think is: Hello, potential Lollapalooza headliner.
8. Another gem
So Britney Spears admitted to a reporter that her second pregnancy wasn’t planned? Who’s coaching her before her interviews, Ozzy Osbourne?
9. Before the storm
Rick Ross’ album was No. 1 on the charts last week. Enjoy it while it lasts, Miami music scene, because Paris Hilton’s album comes out next week.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
