TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: If they made a movie about your athletic career what would it be called?
Jimmy Greenfield: “Weekend at Bernie’s III: Dead On Arrival”
Phillip Thompson: “Lost”
Leo Ebersole: “No, Seriously, White Men Can’t Jump”
Mike North: “Wannabe.” Such as “I wannabe on the Sox, Cubs …”
Jen Patterson: They already made it– “Bring It On.” Cheerleading counts, right?
TOPIC 2: Here’s a phrase, you write whatever pops into your head: ‘Cubs rookie starters.’
Jimmy Greenfield: “Can I please go home now?”
Phillip Thompson: “What wine do you serve with sacrificial lambs?”
Leo Ebersole: “They’re so very close to being as good as Washington’s rookie starters.”
Mike North: “… will be hurt when they become veterans.”
Jen Patterson: “Eight is enough!”
TOPIC 3: How would you break the news to Rex Grossman that he’s lost his starting job?
Jimmy Greenfield: With a megaphone.
Phillip Thompson: Scavenger hunt with a note hidden under the bench: “Dear Rex, if you’re reading this, stay here.”
Leo Ebersole: By sensitively etching “You’re No. 2” into the door panel of his car.
Mike North: I would say “Hey Rex, you know what this is about?”
Jen Patterson: Have Cedric Benson break it to him from under the stands where he’s watching the game.
TOPIC 4: Everyone talks about ‘chemistry’ in team sports. Define it.
Jimmy Greenfield: Chemistry is an old Indian word meaning “three-run homer.”
Phillip Thompson: It’s when a team bonds together. Funny the how the word “Bonds” came up after “chemistry.”
Leo Ebersole: It’s that certain something in the locker room. In the Carolina Panthers’ locker room, it’s called HGH.
Mike North: A team that wins has chemistry. Example: The Cubs don’t.
Jen Patterson: When you can spend quality time off together on a boat cruise, like the Minnesota Vikings.
TOPIC 5: What injuries haven’t you disclosed to your boss?
Jimmy Greenfield: Three weeks ago, I had head replacement surgery.
Phillip Thompson: The foot that’s currently lodged in the seat of his pants has a hairline fracture.
Leo Ebersole: According to reader e-mails, I’ve been typing with my head up my rear end for several weeks now.
Mike North: Hangovers during the twilight of my mediocre career.
Jen Patterson: I blew an eardrum out when I was listening to “The Mike North Morning Show.”
