TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: A poll says Yankees and Mets rank No. 1 and 2 in fan popularity. Why?
Jimmy Greenfield: Fans are idiots.
Phillip Thompson: It’s no fair. They’re both in New York where rodents have a right to vote.
Leo Ebersole: Have you checked the size of America’s prison population lately?
Adam Caldarelli: There are a lot of jerks in the world.
Bag Boy: East Coast bias. I say sell the Atlantic Seaboard back to the Brits for cash.
TOPIC 2: Jeff George is back in the NFL. We beg you to explain.
Jimmy Greenfield: GM’s are idiots.
Phillip Thompson: You see, this is why general managers should be tested under the league’s substance abuse policy.
Leo Ebersole: He took a look at Oakland’s roster and thought he was signing up for “Skating With Celebrities.”
Adam Caldarelli: Al Davis grew tired of being the only crazy, old guy in the office.
Bag Boy: Tax exemption. Raiders get to write his check off to charity.
TOPIC 3: Pink sings NBC’s ‘Sunday Night Football’ song. Also explain.
Jimmy Greenfield: TV producers are idiots.
Phillip Thompson: She’s locked in a death struggle with the Black Eyed Peas to put out the most “get it started” songs.
Leo Ebersole: Producers took a look at her and thought they were signing up for Axl Rose. Goodnight everybody.
Adam Caldarelli: There is no valid explanation for this one.
Bag Boy: Counter programming. They wanted someone who could offset Hank William’s Jr. feminine appeal.
TOPIC 4: Will Drew Rosenhaus’ Burger King ads make you buy more burgers?
Jimmy Greenfield: No way, I’m no idiot.
Phillip Thompson: Yeah, from McDonald’s.
Leo Ebersole: No, but I do feel the sudden urge to sign Plaxico Burress to an exorbitant contract.
Adam Caldarelli: No, but the specter of Rosenhaus paired with the Burger King guy may keep me up at night.
Bag Boy: Not answering that.
Next question.
TOPIC 5: What do we send expectant father Matt Leinart for the baby shower?
Jimmy Greenfield: Not sure why, but I’m thinking a bag full of Whoppers.
Phillip Thompson: Baby’s first signing bonus?
Leo Ebersole: A bottle of bubbly and a Texas Longhorns onesie.
Adam Caldarelli: Some “Blues Clues” DVDs.
Paris can watch them too.
Bag Boy: A nanny. Phil, pack Leo in a cardboard box, and I’ll get the Styrofoam peanuts.
