TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Put the Bears’ Sunday win at Green Bay in perspective.
Brian Moore: I may be exaggerating, but they’ve already won as many games as the Cubs.
Phillip Thompson: The Bears’ D helped me crush Leo’s and Brian’s fantasy teams. And isn’t that what’s important?
Leo Ebersole: It just passed “being able to rent a car online” on the list of greatest things ever to happen.
Bag Boy: It’s like being a little tipsy, a little in love and nailing the trifecta at Arlington all at once.
Stick Figure: You promised not to use big words this time. What does “put” mean?
TOPIC 2: Brett Favre: “Maybe we aren’t that good.” Start a sentence with “maybe.”
Brian Moore: Maybe Brett Favre isn’t so stupid after all.
Phillip Thompson: Maybe Maurice Clarett is a little high strung.
Leo Ebersole: Maybe Phil applies too much eye shadow.
Bag Boy: Maybe Green Bay Packer fans can kiss my bag.
Stick Figure: It’s quite possible I don’t know how to do that.
TOPIC 3: What Internet sports webcast is just dying to be done?
Brian Moore: “Clubbin’ with Kyle Orton.”
Phillip Thompson: Ricky Bobby, live from his NASCAR cockpit. Over to you, Ricky. Ricky: “You said ‘cockpit!’ “
Leo Ebersole: “The Mike Ditka-Terrell Owens Drive-Time Happy Hour.”
Bag Boy: NFL picks as sung by the “Numa Numa” kid.
Stick Figure: I’m not fond of spiders.
TOPIC 4: How will F-1 racecar driver Michael Schumacher spend his retirement?
Brian Moore: As one of the world’s greatest racecar drivers ever, however he damn well pleases.
Phillip Thompson: He’ll tour the U.S. to convince Americans that F-1 is a racing league and not an energy drink.
Leo Ebersole: He’ll eat fancy dinners with world leaders, then challenge their chauffeurs to drag races.
Bag Boy: Driving his kids to soccer practice at speeds in excess of 200 mph.
Stick Figure: I never learned to tie my own shoes. I feel better having admitted that in public.
TOPIC 5: BMX supercross is a medal sport in the 2008 Olympics. Why?
Brian Moore: Olympic officials thought BMX super-duper cross just would have been too much.
Phillip Thompson: Because in sports, you have to put the pedal to the medal. … I’ll show myself out.
Leo Ebersole: Bike racing was considered sacred to the ancient Greeks, as were bald eagle tattoos.
Bag Boy: Maybe ABC wouldn’t fork over the rights to “Dancing With the Stars.”
Stick Figure: People get super-cross with me sometimes. I just plug my ears and wait for it to pass.
