TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Are these Bears for real?
Jimmy Greenfield: They’re real, and they’re spectacular.
Phillip Thompson: I’m not saying they’re not good, but it’s the Lions and Packers. There, I said it.
Leo Ebersole: I have it on good authority that that was a Manning brother disguised as Rex Grossman.
Whizzer: Who cares? Enjoy the moment. Ah, you kids today.
Bag Boy: I have the ring, Rex Grossman, if you’ll just say “yes” …
TOPIC 2: Say something to John Gilmore.
Jimmy Greenfield: Keep this up and you’ll coach the Bears to a Super Bowl title one day.
Phillip Thompson: When’s the last time a Bears tight end caught 2 TDs in one game? In one season?
Leo Ebersole: Want to remind Bears fans of Ditka? You’ll have to make your face turn three shades redder.
Whizzer: I think I voted for you in ’98.
Bag Boy: If Rex turns down my proposal, you’re totally in there.
TOPIC 3: What is the Wismilak International?
Jimmy Greenfield: The way drunk foreigners attending Wisconsin-Milwaukee pronounce their school name.
Phillip Thompson: They, um, produce Similac for babies with bladder problems?
Leo Ebersole: A semi-pro soccer team in Wisconsin.
Whizzer: That’s “Whizzmilak.” And from now on, please direct all questions to my copyright attorneys.
Bag Boy: It’s either tennis or golf or racing, and my mind just shut down.
TOPIC 4: Name one of the rights you have as a Major League MVP.
Jimmy Greenfield: The right to remain silent.
Phillip Thompson: You can void your contract and sell your soul to the devil, care of George Steinbrenner.
Leo Ebersole: Instead of taking shots, you get your B-12 in a Flintstone-shaped chewable tablet.
Whizzer: You get to date Mariah Carey for a year. (Psst! Eventually we all do, but don’t tell them!)
Bag Boy: Rookie call-ups have to follow you around with a spittoon.
TOPIC 5: Without searching the Web, what’s one thing you know about the 2006 Fire?
Jimmy Greenfield: They built a beautiful stadium at Mayor Daley’s boyhood home in Bridgeport.
Phillip Thompson: See, what had happened was …
Leo Ebersole: I can only assume they’re better than Wismilak International.
Whizzer: Chicago is unbeaten in its last four matches at Toyota Park. A Mr. McGoogle told me.
Bag Boy: They’ve played a few soccer games–my mind’s shutting down again!
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