TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Brett Favre has 400 TD passes. What are you capable of doing 400 times?
Jimmy Greenfield: Watching “Anchorman: TheLegend of Ron Burgundy.” Just 347 times to go.
Phillip Thompson: Oh, about 400 Push-Ups in an hour. I prefer orange sherbert to the new flavors. Call me traditional.
Leo Ebersole: My lawyers and I have talked, and I’m going to go ahead and plead the Fifth on this.
Brian Moore: Wishing he had retired in the off-season after all.
Bag Boy: Banging my head on the wall without passing out. How do I know? Cubs, 2003. Sox, 2006. Hawks …
TOPIC 2: How does Rex Grossman feel about the Metrodome now?
Jimmy Greenfield: The same way I feel about a cop who caught me speeding but only gave me a warning.
Phillip Thompson: It’s a little too roomy, but the carpet’s nice. Make him an offer.
Leo Ebersole: He now refuses to wear anything that isn’t made of field turf. Well, maybe polyester.
Brian Moore: Very, very happy. Not for the win, but for getting out uninjured.
Bag Boy: Rex, did you ever know that you’re my hero. You’re everything I wish I could be …
TOPIC 3: What do you say to someone who’s still holding out hope for the White Sox?
Jimmy Greenfield: Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Until Tuesday.
Phillip Thompson: My friend, let me talk to you about time-shares. It’s not just an investment–it’s an opportunity.
Leo Ebersole: Stay strong. Jimmy still thinks he has a shot with Tom Cruise.
Brian Moore: It’s over. And Santa Claus isn’t real either.
Bag Boy: I’d slap you a few times, but I think that’s what the three strikes law is all about.
TOPIC 4: Who would steal from college football players during a game?
Jimmy Greenfield: College football players.
Phillip Thompson: Students don’t have money! Maybe those dummies should have stuck around, taken a few classes.
Leo Ebersole: The names of about 3 million agents and corporate sponsors just came to mind.
Brian Moore: Perhaps the same type of people who pay college football players.
Bag Boy: I’ve had my suspicions about this person for a while: Katie Couric.
TOPIC 5: The Europeans routed the Americans in the Ryder Cup. Your thoughts?
Jimmy Greenfield: According to my sources, I have absolutely no thoughts on the matter.
Phillip Thompson: I see Tiger and Co. have been taking tips on international play from USA Basketball.
Leo Ebersole: I have no doubt our national basketball team will avenge the loss. (Crickets.)
Brian Moore: Damn, I missed it. Oh, well, there’s always … NEVER!
Bag Boy: Europeans are just Americans minus a few cheeseburgers.
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