TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What’s the White Sox’s counter move to the choke sign?
Jimmy Greenfield: A sign of agreement.
Phillip Thompson: Make an “L” for “loser!” OK, maybe not the best choice of counter moves.
Leo Ebersole: Giving Indians fans the universal sign for “When’s the last time you were above .500?”
Mike North: The hitchhiking sign telling everyone the Sox are going home.
Bag Boy: Talk to the hand. The Sox Hand. He really shouldn’t be alone right now.
TOPIC 2: What song should replace ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ ‘?
Jimmy Greenfield: “The White Sox Got Run Over By A Reindeer.”
Phillip Thompson: “Yesterday” by the Beatles. Just edged my backup choice, the “Thong Song.”
Leo Ebersole: “Tequila.”
Mike North: “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?” by the Bee Gees.
Bag Boy: Fergie’s “London Bridge.” Buckle up, boys. It’ll be blasting outside your homes all off-season.
TOPIC 3: It’s a Notre Dame mystery: Who slapped Charlie Weis?
Jimmy Greenfield: Slappy White.
Phillip Thompson: The Donut Fairy, about a dozen times.
Leo Ebersole: It was the leprechaun. On the sideline. With the top hat.
Mike North: The Cookie Monster–Charlie tried to eat him
Bag Boy: Zsa Zsa Gabor. She strikes me as a Michigan State fan. She strikes everybody, actually.
TOPIC 4: What would you do with the Cubs’ coaching staff?
Jimmy Greenfield: Give them a treat, put them in the back seat, then dump them off on a farm in Wisconsin.
Phillip Thompson: Send them overseas to train terror camps. War. Over.
Leo Ebersole: Avoid anything that involves competing with the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Mike North: They have a coaching staff???
Bag Boy: You’ll see it on the news.
TOPIC 5: Are the Bears lucky Shaun Alexander got injured?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sure, if you think it’s “lucky” my Shaun Alexander voodoo doll worked.
Phillip Thompson: Yeah. “Plugging the gap” in his case involves extensive dental work.
Leo Ebersole: ALEXANDER’S THE LUCKY ONE! This has been your irrational Bears fan moment of the day.
Mike North: Ya think? It’s our year.
Bag Boy: The Bears don’t need luck. They need their own Shaun Alexander.
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