TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: John Madden. In Chicago. Go!
Jimmy Greenfield: John, I’m taking you for ribs at Twin Anchors. Don’t worry, I’ll bring the bibs.
Phillip Thompson: He’s coming to see personally if Madden ’07 is outpacing crack sales in Chicago.
Leo Ebersole: When he’s not preparing for the game, he’ll be protesting the City Council’s proposed turducken ban.
Adam Caldarelli: Go where?
Stick Figure: Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot PIE!
TOPIC 2: One scoreless high school football team had its season canceled. Any recommendations?
Jimmy Greenfield: Exchange your varsity jackets for hall monitor belts.
Phillip Thompson: All that texting, and you can’t hack into a simple scoreboard?
Leo Ebersole: Get in touch with the Illinois recruiting staff immediately.
Adam Caldarelli: To be fair, they should cancel all high school sports.
Stick Figure: I have a crush on cheese.
TOPIC 3: The A’s and Raiders might have a schedule conflict in Oakland. Settle it.
Jimmy Greenfield: The A’s use the field, but the Raiders get to serve as designated hitters.
Phillip Thompson: No conflict. The Raiders offense hardly uses that field.
Leo Ebersole: The team with the best quarterback gets to play. Sorry, Raiders.
Adam Caldarelli: Since Aaron Brooks’ passer rating is lower than the A’s team ERA, advantage A’s.
Stick Figure: The Oakland A’s are the first team in the alphabet.
TOPIC 4: What exactly does ‘Mike Tyson’s World Tour’ entail?
Jimmy Greenfield: Serving time in jails from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe.
Phillip Thompson: He threatens to eat the children journalists of various nationalities.
Leo Ebersole: A couple of sparring sessions and a whole lot of nibbling.
Adam Caldarelli: Pure class, with some high-pitched lisping and drunken bipolar rampages thrown in.
Stick Figure: Wanna know what makes the world go round? Butterscotch!
TOPIC 5: Anything in sports this week have a personal impact?
Jimmy Greenfield: I’m planning a driving trip with Paris Hilton.
Phillip Thompson: Well, on my fantasy team … why are you all leaving?
Leo Ebersole: Does Caldarelli’s onion breath count as sports?
Adam Caldarelli: Um, lunch was good today.
Stick Figure: I’m renting out my Happy Place. It’s a loft!
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