TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: The Bulls play their first preseason game Wednesday. Thoughts?
Jimmy Greenfield: I don’t do preseason, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away.
Phillip Thompson: I’ll miss Tyson Chandler. See how easily “miss” and “Tyson Chandler” go together?
Leo Ebersole: Someone needs to step up and fill Tyson Chandler’s old role by getting into early foul trouble.
Brian Moore: None. And the way the Bears are playing, I’ll bet I’m not alone.
Evil Super Computer: Thanks to a few tweaks, the “shot” clock will take on a whole new meaning! HAHAHAHA!
TOPIC 2: If you could pick a jersey number, what would it be?
Jimmy Greenfield: “XX.” In honor of the Bears and SCTV’s Steve Roman.
Phillip Thompson: “1.” It’s my goal in life and my silhouette.
Leo Ebersole: “0.58,” for my scoring average.
Brian Moore: “11,” because only one No. 1 just doesn’t do me justice.
Evil Super Computer: “01101101 01000011.” It was my high school number.
TOPIC 3: Give some advice to Arizona rookie Matt Leinart before he faces the Bears.
Jimmy Greenfield: Write down plays on your wrist, and keep smelling salts in your pocket.
Phillip Thompson: Fake an injury and let the Bears finish off Old Man Warner once and for all.
Leo Ebersole: It’s probably not a good idea to compare notes on Paris Hilton with Brian Urlacher.
Brian Moore: Fake an injury and sit this one out. Nothing good can come of it.
Evil Super Computer: “Stop … in the name of Bears, before you break a leg. Think it over.” I’m feeling musical.
TOPIC 4: Invent a trick feature for the new Tiger Woods video game.
Jimmy Greenfield: Whenever he gets a hole-in-one, a picture of his wife pops up.
Phillip Thompson: The Elinator: Birdie and Elin Woods slips out of her cardigan. Thanks for the idea, Dubliner.
Leo Ebersole: You should be able to play as Jimmy, just so Michelle Wie isn’t the only teenage girl on tour.
Brian Moore: The Tabloid Round. Unless you beat unsavory journalists, your wife appears naked in the paper.
Evil Super Computer: Hit L2, and the Tiger character leaps from the screen and saps your life force!
TOPIC 5: The Yankees are keeping Joe Torre. What does that mean for the Cubs?
Jimmy Greenfield: Let’s say it together again. It. Does. Not. Matter.
Phillip Thompson: It’s a blueprint: Threaten to fire the manager every off-season. Keep playing every postseason.
Leo Ebersole: They hire Girardi, remove his hard drive and scan it for all pertinent Torre files.
Brian Moore: Something bad. I’m not sure what, but it can’t help them at all.
Evil Super Computer: Steinbrenner, you’re a heartless son of a motherboard for putting Torre through this. Marry me.
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