TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Should the Cubs go after A-Rod?
Jimmy Greenfield: No World Series title? Grossly overpaid? Sure, he’ll fit right in.
Phillip Thompson: No, but the Feds should go after G-Rod. That’s right, I’m gettin’ all political on you.
Leo Ebersole: More appropriately, should they bobble him and throw him over their second baseman’s head?
Adam Caldarelli: Yes, because unlike in N.Y., it’s not like anyone expects the Cubs to do anything.
Stick Figure: Rod, Rod, Rod, A-Rod, gently down the stream … I’m nauseous.
TOPIC 2: Is there a more intimidating name than ‘Martynas Andriuskevicius?’
Jimmy Greenfield: Take your pick from 143 NHL players, not even including Tuomo Ruutu.
Phillip Thompson: I think his cousin, Supercalifragilistic Expialidocious, plays in Greece. They call him “Bob.”
Leo Ebersole: Only if tennis player Svetlana Kuznetsova married Wally Szczerbiak.
Adam Caldarelli: Yeah, like one I actually can pronounce.
Stick Figure: Every letter has its own color if you eat enough dandelions.
TOPIC 3: If you were arrested at a strip club, what would the charge be?
Jimmy Greenfield: Around $800, depending how friendly the lap dance gets.
Phillip Thompson: Aggravated flattery.
Leo Ebersole: Requesting an unlawful impersonation of a Whitesnake video.
Adam Caldarelli: That was dropped years ago. Oh, if I were … um, no comment.
Stick Figure: You’re just a bunch of naughty neighbors. My pants hurt!
TOPIC 4: Add some pizzazz to the League Championship Series.
Jimmy Greenfield: Instead of singing the National Anthem, at each game Danny Terrio performs an interpretive dance.
Phillip Thompson: Make them walk the streets of Detroit, Oakland, St. Louis and New York and call it “Survivor.”
Leo Ebersole: Don’t miss your chance to see Julio Franco in action on his 106th birthday!
Adam Caldarelli: Detroit and St. Louis provide all the pizzazz we can handle.
Stick Figure: Pizza is a great idea. They can be the bases. Delicious bases.
TOPIC 5: What prank would you pull on a Bear?
Jimmy Greenfield: Replace his steroids with horse tranquilizers.
Phillip Thompson: Start QB Jonathan Quinn in a real game. Already done? Darn!
Leo Ebersole: It’s hard to top the moment they stepped on the field in Week 1 and saw the Packers.
Adam Caldarelli: Do not mess with the Bears.
Stick Figure: Teddy Bear is my best friend. Yes, Teddy, I will have more apple Snapple, thank you.
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