Call us optimists, but we’d like to think that behind every horror movie killer’s hockey mask and horribly mangled figure is the spirit of a beauty queen.
All right, maybe not, but there are a whole gaggle of scary movies in theaters this month, and what better way to compare them all than to set up an old-fashioned beauty pageant?
We have a special guest with us: Three-time winner Jason from the “Friday the 13th” movies. Because it’s Jason’s big day, we’re going to let him help us with the judging.
Let’s get to know this year’s contestants. Lights! Music!
LEATHERFACE
Movie: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning”
Talent: Extremely handy with power tools. Seriously, if you need some firewood this winter, call him up.
Song: “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” by Johnny Cash
Jason’s comment: “A lot of people don’t know that I made the mask fashionable. I’m just saying …”
JIGSAW
Movie: “Saw 3”
Talent: Sets traps that usually end in a horrific death for the victim. And dresses up in fancy costumes!
Song: “Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?” by The Lovin’ Spoonful
Jason’s comment: “Again with the mask. But I like this guy’s theatricality. If I may quote Randy Jackson, ‘You’re doing your thing, dawg.’ “
CREEPY KID FROM ‘THE GRUDGE 2’
Movie: “The Grudge 2”
Talent: The ability to sneak up on people and look incredibly surprised in movie trailers.
Song: “Super Freak” by Rick James
Jason’s comment: “Pffft. This guy’s a rookie. Hey weirdo, call me when you’ve battled Freddy Krueger for an entire movie.”
WINNER
Despite Jason’s initial misgivings, we’re proud to announce Mr. Horror 2006: Leatherface! With his everyman-must-die mentality and earthy style, he’s a natural. We now go backstage, where Mario Lopez is with our winner. … Mario? … MARIO???
The amazing parents
Remember Jonathan and Victoria from “The Amazing Race”? You know, the attractive couple that kept bickering and even fighting on the sixth season?
Yeah, they’re parents now.
Jonathan Baker and Victoria Fuller became first-time parents Oct. 6 in L.A., People magazine reports. The newborn daughter, named Trease Alynett Baker, weighed 6.6 pounds at birth and measured 19 inches.
The couple, who married in 2001, took their reputation to “Battle of the Network Reality Stars” and “Fear Factor.” They’ll next appear on Friday’s “Tyra Banks Show” to discuss reality TV and their new show “You and Me Baby.”
Time to heal
Cassidy is on “the road to recovery,” his lawyer, Simon Rosen, told mtv.com. The rapper had been in critical condition after a crash last week in New Jersey in which he suffered a fractured skull. His condition has since been upgraded to stable, and he has regained consciousness, Rosen said, adding, “He’s a fighter.”
Partnering up
At least one dancer is on “Dancing With the Stars” judge Carrie Ann Inaba’s good side. The actress tells People magazine she’s been swept off her feet by Russian ballroom dancer Artem Chigvintsev. “He’s my ballroom champ,” Inaba told People. As for the show, singer Willa Ford was voted off Wednesday.
Ailing Usher
Usher, plagued by strep throat since last week, is out of “Chicago” for the final days of his two-month engagement in the long-running musical revival. The R&B star became ill last Friday and has not been in the show since, Jonnetta Patton, his mother and manager, said Thursday. “He expresses his sincere apologies to all of his fans,” Patton said.
