They flow like a river of twine from under his helmet, reaching the No. 21 on the back of his jersey. The NFL considers them part of his uniform.
Juran Bolden considers them part of his life.
“Seven years,” the Bucs cornerback said. “I like them.”
His last haircut came in 1999. Bolden’s dreadlocks are stylish, distinctive and oh so tempting.
Not that the average NFL player is looking to run his fingers through another man’s hair. It’s just that sometimes in the heat of battle, things happen.
“The dude had hair,” Larry Johnson said. “What do you want me to do?”
That was his explanation following last week’s tackle of Troy Polamalu. The dude from Pittsburgh intercepted a pass and Kansas City’s Johnson gave chase.
Anyone who’s seen Polamalu knows he doesn’t just have hair. Imagine Cher after a lightning strike. Sooner or later, it was bound to get Polamalu into a tangle.
Johnson got a handful of hair and yanked him to the ground. It was a cautionary moment in NFL and grooming history.
You can’t field a Rastafarian fantasy team yet, but more players are letting their hair down. You could certainly stock a secondary with Mike McKenzie, Al Harris, Polamalu and Bolden.
The NFL saw an issue coming, so in 2003 it instituted the Ricky Rule, named after Miami’s resident ganja runner Ricky Williams. Hair would be like any other part of the body, fair game for tackling.
It’s no coincidence that most of the current longhairs play defense. Either that or Peyton Manning looked in the mirror after a crazy night in Jamaica and decided the dreadlocks were not a good idea.
Defenders can still turn into tackling targets, of course. Polamalu is an All-Pro ball hawk and probably Paul Mitchell’s favorite player. His hair is a celebration of his warrior Samoan heritage.
For the record, Johnny Unitas was not Samoan.
Most players braid their locks, but they still make an inviting target for lunging tacklers. Call it an occupational hazard.
“If we want to rock our hair long,” Bolden said, “we’ve got to pay the price.”
In a league that regulates sock length, it’s nice to see some non-conformist dreadlocks gallivanting around. But NFL general managers, none of whom currently wear dreadlocks, may not be willing to ante up if this trend continues.
Everybody got a chuckle out of Polamalu’s tackle, but all it did was keep him from scoring in a 45-7 Steelers blowout. Imagine if he’d been steaming for the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl?
Pittsburgh fans would have more bad hair days than Billy Ray Cyrus. “Above the ears” would suddenly start appearing in most NFL contracts.
Employers have the right to set grooming guidelines, which is why Johnny Damon lost the caveman look when he went from Boston to the Yankees. But the Supreme Court has also said one’s choice of hairstyles is constitutionally protected under certain circumstances.
Throw in a few ACLU lawyers, and we could have one hairy legal problem.
Bolden just wants people to stay out of his hair.
“It’s our image, the type of guy I am,” he said. “I guess it’s something like tattoos.”
There’s only one difference. Nobody’s ever been tackled by the tattoo.
