TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Why are the 6-0 Colts behind the Bears in most power rankings?
Jimmy Greenfield: Because power rankings are a greater gauge of success than even rock-paper-scissors.
Phillip Thompson: The Bears’ political attack ads are paying off.
Leo Ebersole: Because it’s only a matter of time before the playoffs arrive and Indy ducks into its shell.
Adam Caldarelli: Because the 6-0 Bears are mighty powerful. Next question.
Whizzer: Something went haywire on a BCS computer and it had a domino effect.
TOPIC 2: What does the ‘P.J.’ in P.J. Brown stand for?
Jimmy Greenfield: Pee Jay.
Phillip Thompson: Hopefully it’s not “poor jumpshot.”
Leo Ebersole: “Pre-Jurassic.” I think it’s safe to say they’re not the “Baby Bulls” anymore.
Adam Caldarelli: “P,” as in pretty lame return for Tyson Chandler. “J,” I can’t think of anything for the “J.”
Whizzer: “Power junkie.” I was supposed to be homecoming king. Me! ME!
TOPIC 3: Come up with a slogan for a runner’s attempt at 50 marathons in 50 days.
Jimmy Greenfield: “Suck on this, Forrest Gump.”
Phillip Thompson: “50 marathons in the time it takes to get an online degree.”
Leo Ebersole: “It’s a test of endurance only a Cubs fan can appreciate.”
Adam Caldarelli: “My junk hurts.”
Whizzer: “Wheezer.”
TOPIC 4: Which rival sports town do you dislike the most and why?
Jimmy Greenfield: Los Angeles. They frequently see greatness and deserve to see none of it.
Phillip Thompson: I was going to say Dallas, but I know Bag Boy has a severe Detroit allergy.
Leo Ebersole: Dallas. I don’t like the football team, I don’t like the accent, and I don’t even like the TV show.
Adam Caldarelli: Nashville. All those losses to the Titans and whatever the hell they call their hockey team.
Whizzer: Miami. All those uniforms and not one of them a bikini.
TOPIC 5: Name one player you’d draft for the ABA expansion team the Hollywood Fame.
Jimmy Greenfield: Irene Cara, because she wants to learn how to fly. FAME!
Phillip Thompson: Chuck Norris. And no one else.
Leo Ebersole: Dave Chappelle in character as Prince.
Adam Caldarelli: Some of those kids from Deering High. Yes, that’s a “Hang Time” reference.
Whizzer: Rebecca Romijn. She can tarnish La La Land with “Pepper Dennis,” but leave Chicago alone.
———-
Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive
