TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHAT HIDDEN CLAUSE WILL WE FIND IN KIRK HINRICH’S NEW CONTRACT?
Jimmy Greenfield: A love-of-the-bad-haircut clause.
Phillip Thompson: The naming rights to hayseed.com.
Leo Ebersole: A $250,000 bonus if he keeps Team USA’s playbook at least 500 yards away from the Bulls.
Mike North: Can’t drive a tractor in off-season.
Bag Boy: For every miss, he has to donate a kidney. Oh, you only have two? Well, DON’T MISS.
TOPIC 2: PREDICT A FREE AGENT WHO WILL PLAY BASEBALL IN CHICAGO NEXT YEAR.
Jimmy Greenfield: Kerry Wood. Yeah, it kind of makes me ill, too.
Phillip Thompson: Carlos Lee to the Cubs. Then we can rename Waveland Avenue Carlito’s Way.
Leo Ebersole: New Cub Jeff Bagwell. It just feels right.
Mike North: Sox: Soriano. Cubs: Borat.
Bag Boy: Oh, Barry Bonds is a free agent? Let the heckling commence!
TOPIC 3: WHAT ATHLETE MOST REMINDS YOU OF BORAT, AND WHY?
Jimmy Greenfield: 14 members of the Blackhawks.
Phillip Thompson: Vlade Divac. “I am sexy, yes?”
Leo Ebersole: Stupid question. Athletes will only drink fermented horse urine if it builds muscle mass.
Mike North: He’s a young Phil Jackson.
Bag Boy: In looks and coaching acumen … Dave Wannstedt.
TOPIC 4: THE HAWKS ARE SO PATHETIC…
Jimmy Greenfield: … in the last week even Phil has scored more than the Hawks have.
Phillip Thompson: … you don’t hear a peep about home games being blacked out.
Leo Ebersole: … their losing streaks have to meet before the season to sort out scheduling conflicts.
Mike North: … their mothers don’t even watch.
Bag Boy: … that I wear their jersey to feel better about myself.
TOPIC 5: WHY DOESN’T DREW BREES WANT HIS MOM TO USE HIS PICTURE IN A CAMPAIGN AD?
Jimmy Greenfield: Because she drafted Philip Rivers ahead of him in her fantasy league.
Phillip Thompson: He’s endorsing her opponent. I guess she won’t be too “busy” to cook next Thanksgiving.
Leo Ebersole: Because he’ll probably end up getting elected.
Mike North: Cool Brees flies under the radar.
Bag Boy: Have you seen this goober? Obviously it’s because he wants her to win.
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