Elections are important. To illustrate that point, one of the Fivers may or may not be running–and you can only stop them by voting!
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHAT SONG BEST DESCRIBES YOUR MOOD ABOUT THE BEARS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Theme song from “Shaft”
Phillip Thompson: “Strokin’ ” by Clarence Carter, but that’s my mood about everything.
Leo Ebersole: “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis Presley
Evil Super Computer: “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn.” Huuuuuge Poison fan.
Bag Boy: “Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister. I’m not ready to open up yet.
TOPIC 2: WHO IS THE REAL REX GROSSMAN?
Jimmy Greenfield: Ndugu Bwabwimi of Uganda
Phillip Thompson: Liza Tanowitz, a nail tech in Asbury Park, N.J., according to a reliable source at Wikipedia.
Leo Ebersole: He’s on a cloning farm blissfully unaware of his sponsor’s struggles. Who saw “The Island”?
Evil Super Computer: Well, it’s not a glitch in the Matrix, I know that! … Nothing to see here, go back to your lives.
Bag Boy: As of Sunday, Kyle Orton’s new drinking buddy.
TOPIC 3: WHAT’S THE DANGER OF USING MALE MODELS AS BALL BOYS IN WOMEN’S TENNIS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Not being able to tell the players from the ball boys.
Phillip Thompson: Then EVERYBODY will start using them: rodeos, track meets, the Supreme Court …
Leo Ebersole: They keep trying to snort the lines during play.
Evil Super Computer: That depends, is the catwalk in or out? Judges?
Bag Boy: That’s hazardous work. One of them could break a nail.
TOPIC 4: WHO’S THE BEST FIGHTER, POUND FOR POUND?
Jimmy Greenfield: Sorry, I don’t follow sissy sports.
Phillip Thompson: George Foreman. But at his weight, it’s almost by default.
Leo Ebersole: Butterbean. I will never be convinced otherwise.
Evil Super Computer: Me. I’m 782 pounds, and I am unstoppable!
Bag Boy: Floyd Mayweather. No, Roy Jones Jr. Whichever one it will convince to retire already.
TOPIC 5: IF TIGER WOODS CAN DESIGN GOLF COURSES, THEN …
Jimmy Greenfield: Phil can design blow-up dolls.
Phillip Thompson: Courtney Love can design … um, never mind.
Leo Ebersole: My dream of seeing a windmill blocking the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass … doesn’t come true.
Evil Super Computer: Tiger can design new schematics for my hard drive. Mush, Golf Boy, MUSH!
Bag Boy: I can design mattresses. That’s right! Oh, who am I kidding …
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