Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) joins us Wednesdays. E-mail the crew at redeyesports@tribune.com.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: BEN WALLACE ISN’T SORRY ABOUT THE HEADBAND. WHAT SHOULD HE BE SORRY ABOUT?
Jimmy Greenfield: The foot rub. Ben, use your thumbs more and, please, just relax.
Phillip Thompson: That he ever signed with this headband hatin’ team. Is this a priority when you’re below .500?
Mike North: His sorry-ass play.
Whizzer: He’ll be sorry if he doesn’t let me help him market his own headbands. Let’s talk numbers …
Bag Dog: That he doesn’t have a dog with a matching headband. Hint: I can grow an afro.
TOPIC 2: DOES MARK MCGWIRE BELONG IN THE HALL OF FAME?
Jimmy Greenfield: No, it focuses too much on the past.
Phillip Thompson: I don’t think that pumped-up hulk can fit into the Hall, so the point is moot.
Mike North: The Pharmaceutical H.O.F.
Whizzer: Absolutely. If the glove don’t fit, you must admit. Wait, let me try that again …
Bag Dog: As much as two dogs belong in Five on Five.
TOPIC 3: RICE IS PLAYING IN A BOWL GAME. MAKE YOUR LAMEST JOKE HERE.
Jimmy Greenfield: Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) Rice. (Rice who?) Exactly.
Phillip Thompson: What’s the ticket plan: pay for the Rice Bowl, get the egg roll free?
Mike North: They must be playing ARONI U.
Whizzer: Since it’s the New Orleans bowl, it’s obvious they were only invited to make gumbo.
Bag Dog: Some dogs can’t handle rice, or any other people food. Hint, hint, wink, wink, look to the left.
TOPIC 4: REDEYECHICAGO.COM HAS A SEXY CHICAGO POLL. WHAT’S SEXY IN CHICAGO SPORTS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Starting pitching, a punishing defense and borrowing the Zamboni for a hot date.
Phillip Thompson: Winning. Hence the name Lovie Smith.
Mike North: Doesn’t my picture ooze sexuality?
Whizzer: Give SOME dogs pub and they go nuts with the groupies. You know what they say, “All dogs are men.”
Bag Dog: Oh, I’m bringing sexy back.
TOPIC 5: ANYONE FROM THE VIKINGS SCARE YOU?
Jimmy Greenfield: Nope.
Phillip Thompson: I’m scared Marcus Robinson might come back.
Mike North: If Tarkenton could suit up, he would scare me.
Whizzer: I can’t believe it, Bag Dog, but you’re even more annoying and mangy than Bag Boy.
Bag Dog: You got a problem with me, Whiz? If you’re feeling froggy, doggy, leap!
