We’re all about getting into the holiday spirit around here–that’s why we have Bag Boy (Frosty), Jimmy (Prancer) and Brian (Scrooge). Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: OK, PHILOSOPHERS, WHAT IS THE DEEPER MEANING OF SUNDAY’S BEARS GAME?
Jimmy Greenfield: Home-field advantage only matters if you don’t suck.
Phillip Thompson: He who wastes his strength on bums in December will get much rest in January.
Leo Ebersole: Devin Hester is the Nintendo Wii of the Bears: Brilliant, but able to make you smash your TV.
Brian Moore: You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone. Big leads included.
Bag Boy: It means the Bears’ trainers should do weekly head examinations.
TOPIC 2: WHO’S OFF YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST?
Jimmy Greenfield: I’m Jewish. Get me human resources, right now.
Phillip Thompson: Drew Brees. It’s a fantasy football thing, don’t ask.
I SAID DON’T ASK!
Leo Ebersole: Tony Romo. You, sir, are an accomplice to the crime that is the “T.O.” signal.
Brian Moore: Bob Knight. You’re not worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Dean Smith.
Bag Boy: Well, I won’t be buying any Chucky dolls, I can tell you that!
TOPIC 3: IF SPIKE LEE MADE A MOVIE ABOUT THE KNICKS-NUGGETS BRAWL, IT WOULD BE CALLED …
Jimmy Greenfield: “10 Little Girls.”
Phillip Thompson: “Bungle Fever.” And in every scene, Carmelo Anthony glides from basket to basket on a dolly.
Leo Ebersole: “Sucker Slap City.”
Brian Moore: Too easy: “Do the Fight Thing.”
Bag Boy: “Mo’ Better Bruise.”
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S WITH THE NBA AND BRAWLS, ANYWAY?
Jimmy Greenfield: You put me in public in my underwear I’d be mad too.
Phillip Thompson: They’re missing Allen Iverson’s moral leadership.
Leo Ebersole: Frankly, I blame the new ball.
Brian Moore: If you were playing big-time basketball for mere pennies, you’d want to hit someone too.
Bag Boy: Maybe, just maybe, they’re all morons.
TOPIC 5: WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE SOX TRADING ROSS GLOAD FOR ANDREW SISCO?
Jimmy Greenfield: It reminds me of when Leo and Phil swapped imaginary friends.
Phillip Thompson: With Sisco, I expect the Sox’s thong production to go up 30 percent. My ears are burning.
Leo Ebersole: I predict someone on this panel chimes in with a “Thong Song” joke.
Brian Moore: Kenny Williams has officially run out of ideas.
Bag Boy: Let me get this straight, Sox. When you go out looking for talent you turn to … Kansas City?
