Mike North of The Score (670-AM) is out to lunch, er, on vacation, so we found a natural replacement. That’s right. Stick Figure. Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: With a name like Tank, what other job could you do?
Jimmy Greenfield: Pancake chef.
Phillip Thompson: Head mistress at a girls’ charm school. You see Leo turned out OK.
Leo Ebersole: The Transformers are always looking for good help.
Stick Figure: I have an imaginary tank. Tomorrow, we invade Nevada!
Bag Boy: Mercenary, which is what college football trained him for anyway.
TOPIC 2: What does the ‘Kobe’ in Kobe Bryant mean to you?
Jimmy Greenfield: It means, “There but by the grace of God goes Mike Tyson.”
Phillip Thompson: In Japanese, it’s beef. In NBAese, it’s “one who starts many beefs.”
Leo Ebersole: Thirty to 35 shots a game.
Stick Figure: Dear God, do dogs have knuckles? Thank you.–S.F.
Bag Boy: “A great hot air comes from the West.”
TOPIC 3: What coach would you like to see PLAY in the Pro Bowl?
Jimmy Greenfield: John Madden.
Phillip Thompson: Isiah “Brawl of Fame” Thomas. I got a feeling he’s a kicker.
Leo Ebersole: Mike Shanahan, because we’d see his backup after the first series.
Stick Figure: A bowl of pro doesn’t sound very tasty.
Bag Boy: Bob Knight, you take the “safe” out of strong safety.
TOPIC 4: What was your first thought when you heard Allen Iverson’s going to the Nuggets?
Jimmy Greenfield: I’m going out for McNuggets. Anybody want any?
Phillip Thompson: One week of Allen I-I-I-verson, they’ll be changing their name to the “Rockies.”
Leo Ebersole: To be honest, the phrase “going to the Nuggets” made me snicker for a good five minutes.
Stick Figure: Yahtzee!
Bag Boy: Carmelo Anthony just got a mentor (more like a temper-mentor).
TOPIC 5: A Lions D-line coach is suspended for the Bears game because of 2 arrests. Take your best shot.
Jimmy Greenfield: Hey, you CAN get arrested for losing.
Phillip Thompson: Busted for naked driving, was he? Gotta ask, was it a stick?
Leo Ebersole: The Cincinnati Bengals have offered him an interim position.
Stick Figure: Defensive line people are very naughty. All my lines are straight and narrow.
Bag Boy: We know where Tank’s headed in the off-season.
