Moving On
Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life
by Russell Friedman and John W. James (M. Evans, $12.95 paper)
Authors Friedman and James have treated thousands of clients at the Grief Recovery Institute in Sherman Oaks, Calif. In this book, the two suggest methods to mourn and shed the pain of past relationships in order to move on to new, healthy ones.
1. There are falsehoods about sadness that limit our ability to deal with it, including the notions that it is better to grieve alone and that being strong is always the best way to deal with emotional pain.
2. Short-term energy-relieving behaviors, such as overeating, provide only the illusion of relief from painful feelings.
3. “Getting over” someone should not entail forgetting about him or her entirely. “There’s a difference between completing your relationship . . . and forgetting someone who was important in your life.”
4. “Forgiveness is still one of the least-understood concepts in the world.”
5. Romantic relationships are not the only ones that can leave you “emotionally unfinished.” Dysfunctional parent, sibling or friend bonds must also be properly addressed before functional new relationships can form.
