1. Red flag
So, no alarm bells went off in Marilyn Manson’s head when he decided to marry a woman named “Teese”?
2. Silly mutt
The FDA just approved a diet drug for dogs. This is utterly ridiculous. If your dog’s too lazy to set up gastric bypass surgery, then it deserves to be fat.
3. Primal fear
Honestly, what looks more terrifying, “The Hitcher” or Donald Trump on the new season of “The Apprentice”?
4. This is a test
Hundreds of people in Houston tried out for a chance to be backup dancers for Beyonce. Applicants had to dance to a routine and show proof that they weren’t Kevin Federline.
5. Ground rules
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have worked out the short-term custody of their children. Under the agreement, he’ll visit three times a week, and they’ll both be allowed one drop per month.
6. Revelations
In a message to fans, Spears wrote, “I am now more mature.” Translation: “I was the last one on Earth to figure out that Paris Hilton is poison.”
7. With benefits
And people wonder why Cedric the Entertainer keeps signing up for these corny comedies.
8. Beat the clock
There are nine days until “American Idol” comes back. I feel like you need to be warned of these things with a countdown.
9. How convenient
GM introduced an electric concept car at the Detroit Auto Show on Sunday. And if the utilities have their way, it’ll be 12 times more expensive to drive than a car that runs on gas.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
