Aloha, Tiger.
Vijay Singh here. I’m figuring you were too busy to check out the Mercedes Championship, what with skiing, watching the football games and prepping for your upcoming Lamaze classes with Elin. Thought I’d fill you in on what you missed Sunday.
Guess what? I won. Adam Scott gave me a scare on the back nine, cutting my five-shot lead to two with two holes to play. But I held off the kid to win by two.
I made some history too. The victory was my 18th since I turned the big 4-0, breaking Sam Snead’s record. Now they’re saying that I’m the best 40-plus golfer ever. At least that’s one thing I’ve got over you.
My 44th birthday is next month, but I’m not done yet, pal. Finally found a driver I like. I was all over the place last year.
I made some putts too. I did it with one of those belly putters. Went in the garage, picked it out from the 2,500 or so I have in there. Felt good, so I went with it.
You know me and putters. I change them as often as I change my socks. I’ll be doing the long-putter thing soon enough.
The tournament seemed plenty exciting to me, but there was a lot of whining about you not being here. People were saying it was dullsville, like somebody drained all the juice out of the pineapple.
Tim Finchem said Sunday he was “disappointed” your private plane didn’t make it to Maui, considering this was the opening tournament of the year. But don’t worry, Tiger, the commish didn’t come down on you hard. If he makes you mad, the next thing he knows, you’re skipping all the tournaments.
All Timmy wanted to talk about was the FedEx Cup. He’s pretty excited about it. He said with the first tournament down, fans would start running to their computers to check out the points list.
They asked me about it Thursday, and I got a little cranky. Said: “I’m tired of listening to it. . . . I’m not worried about the FedEx Cup.”
I don’t think that was the answer Finchem wanted. But, hey, at least I showed up.
They told me after the tournament that I got 4,500 FedEx Cup points for winning. I don’t know about you, but I was more excited with getting $1.1 million and a new Mercedes for winning.
The Golf Channel also wished you were here, Tiger. This was the first tournament of their 15-year contract with the PGA Tour. They’re hoping you appear on one of their telecasts before the deal is done in 2021.
Nick Faldo did the analysis, and they said he was pretty good. Remember when he was known for being a jerk to the media? Now he’s Mr. Funny Guy.
Talk about a personality transplant. Maybe there’s a future for me in television too.
You missed a good time. The tournament folks, led by Gary Planos, run a first-class event. You wouldn’t expect anything less from an Evans Scholar.
They say you’re not playing until the Buick at the end of the month. Then you’ll probably take another two weeks off after that. That means you’ll play only one of the first six events.
Privately, the commish might question your commitment to the tour, but tough.
Don’t worry, Tiger. I’ve got you covered. They can knock me all they want, but they can’t say I don’t play.
Take all the time off you need, buddy. I wouldn’t mind picking up a few more trophies. And I’ll take those FedEx Cup points, too, as long as they don’t ask me about it.
See you soon. Or not.
Vijay.
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esherman@tribune.com
