Chicagosports.com’s Rahula Strohl knows all about high-stakes championships. His thumb-wrestling title match was touch-and-go there for a while. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WAS TONY ROMO’S FOOTBALL TOO SLICK?
Jimmy Greenfield: Come on, no dirty talk here.
Phillip Thompson: No, it’s Jerry Jones who’s too slick.
Leo Ebersole: Maybe he ran his fingers through Jimmy Johnson’s hair before the snap. Ever think of that?
Rahula Strohl: Dunno, but it looks like he’s been taking T.O.’s advice on how to handle the situation.
Bag Boy: Might have been, judging by the way his tears were beading on the surface.
TOPIC 2: WHAT LAST-MINUTE PREPARATIONS DID YOU MAKE FOR THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP?
Jimmy Greenfield: Bought a Boise State hat and put a crown on it.
Phillip Thompson: Considering it’s January and on Fox, I braced myself for Paula Abdul, sideline reporter.
Leo Ebersole: I double-checked the power supply on the pudding-filled hot tub.
Rahula Strohl: Bought a Boise State jersey. They got a shot at the title, right? Right?
Bag Boy: I couldn’t get the alligators in time for my party, so I had to settle for a crocodile pit.
TOPIC 3: WHO IS DARRELL JACKSON AND WHY DOES HE MATTER?
Jimmy Greenfield: He’s a Seahawk, and he doesn’t.
Phillip Thompson: He’s the NFL TD reception leader who’s going to miss the Bears game. Translated: “Whew!”
Leo Ebersole: He’s the reclusive sixth member of the Jackson Five. Or an injured Seahawks receiver. Whatever.
Rahula Strohl: He’s not Steve Smith, that’s all that matters.
Bag Boy: He’s a very smart Seahawk who heeded my tips on staying “healthy.”
TOPIC 4: WHY WOULD CALVIN JOHNSON RISK BECOMING A RAIDER?
Jimmy Greenfield: Little-known fact: Calvin Johnson and Darrell Jackson are the same person.
Phillip Thompson: His college team is called the Ramblin Wreck, so going to an NFL wreck is only natural.
Leo Ebersole: Because Randy Moss will only reveal the secrets of a perfect afro in person.
Rahula Strohl: Because if his stuffed tiger Hobbes is by his side, he’s unstoppable.
Bag Boy: For No. 1 pick money, he can afford a lot of therapy.
TOPIC 5: WHO IS THE BULLS’ MVP SO FAR?
Jimmy Greenfield: Until further notice, it’s Isiah Thomas.
Phillip Thompson: It’s Luol, you all.
Leo Ebersole: For the second year in a row it’s Bag Boy’s Eastern Conference voodoo doll.
Rahula Strohl: Michael Jordan. Or are we talking just this season?
Bag Boy: Most Vocal Pesterer? Oh, you know.
———-
redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive




