After a near-miss this season, an apologetic BCS will let Florida play itself for the title next year.
2. Moving sentiment
One Florida player said “four or five teams in the SEC” are better than Ohio State. I know Miami has fallen on hard times, but has cockiness moved 300 miles to Gainesville?
3. Snack talk
You won’t hear a mumbling word against the Gators from me, especially since they probably have a taste for small dogs.
4. Big Mac
Mark McGwire probably belongs in the Hall; I’m just not sure he’ll fit.
5. Slamming Sammy
I know you’re thinking this steroids stigma may hurt your Hall of Fame odds, Sammy, but don’t worry. They’re not putting you on the ballot anyway.
6. ‘View’ to a kill
Don’t be fooled by Matt Hasselbeck’s injury. If the Bears secondary’s not healthy, you could throw Elizabeth Hasselbeck in there.
7. Bulls’ next beef
Dear Gilbert Arenas, we here in Chicago don’t want to hear about a “hibachi” unless you’re planning to put a bratwurst on it.
8. Pays to be hardheaded
First Giant Jeremy Shockey loses his helmet, then Gator Earl Everett makes a tackle without one. Next thing you know, NBA players will be playing without ’em.
9. And don’t drop the call
Hold the phone, Terrell Owens needs a publicist. T.O., baby, who loves ya? Give me a jingle, hah?
FIVE THINGS …
… reasons I should be T.O.’s publicist:
– Floppy ears means lots of listening.
– Connections, connections, connections!
– You my dawg? No, I’m YOUR dawg!
– Even I comb my hair before press conferences.
– Great at playing catch, something you could work on.
———-
redeyesports@tribune.com
