Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in Wednesdays. Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive and sign up to make your own guest appearance.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHY WASN’T MARK MCGWIRE ELECTED TO THE HALL OF FAME?
Jimmy Greenfield: Steroid users need to hit 1,700 home runs before they’ll be let in.
Phillip Thompson: The writers got suspicious when he lifted the actual building in Cooperstown.
Leo Ebersole: There were concerns about whether his head would fit on a plaque.
Mike North: Ate too much chocolate?
Bag Boy: When the word “blood test” comes up, why bother?
TOPIC 2: WHY ARE THE SEAHAWKS HAVING ALL THESE INJURY PROBLEMS?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s all just a ploy to catch the Bears napping.
Phillip Thompson: I’ll just put it out there. When’s the last time “Seattle” and “tough” were used in the same sentence?
Leo Ebersole: It could be because they play a brutally physical sport, but I’m going with “El Nino.”
Mike North: Are you talking about the football team, or the actual birds?
Bag Boy: Stupid Seahawks. “Just take … these broken wings …”
TOPIC 3: COME UP WITH A SLOGAN TO HELP CHICAGO’S OLYMPIC BID.
Jimmy Greenfield: “Come celebrate Mayor Patrick Daley’s first year in office.”
Phillip Thompson: “Together with Lollapalooza, you can make our traffic nightmare possible.”
Leo Ebersole: “Pick Chicago over L.A. because our city’s fake people only show up on Election Day.”
Mike North: “Hey, come here, we have great beef sandwiches.”
Bag Boy: “We have Coach Ditka. L.A. has Coach Jackson. But he was our Coach Jackson first!”
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S NEXT FOR THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES?
Jimmy Greenfield: A Final Four berth. Yeah, really sucks to be them.
Phillip Thompson: Well, Jim Tressel definitely cancels that vacation in Florida.
Leo Ebersole: A week from now, they finally get the last piece of turf out of their facemasks.
Mike North: Send films of Troy Smith to the Canadian Football League.
Bag Boy: The team has to prepare the next generation of Bust-eyes in the NFL draft.
TOPIC 5: WHY DID TERRELL OWENS FIRE HIS PUBLICIST?
Jimmy Greenfield: Because in two seconds I’m going to write that he’s a jackass.
Phillip Thompson: He was very impressed by the deals the devil made with Taylor Hicks and Dane Cook.
Leo Ebersole: He’s just not seeing his name in the news nearly enough.
Mike North: He hired Allstate, because they are “the Good Hands people.”
Bag Boy: Thanks to Kim Etheredge, the IRS gave him 25 million reasons to come down to their headquarters.
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