Rahula Strohl of chicagosports.com knows it would behoove you to visit Stick Figure at redeyechicago.com/gofigure, because we know big words like “behoove” and aren’t afraid to use them.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WRITE REDEYE’S HEADLINE FOR NEXT MONDAY MORNING.
Jimmy Greenfield: “Super Bawl”
Phillip Thompson: “Hell to the Nawlins: Whitney Houston leads Saints”
Leo Ebersole: “Bears 1, Pope 0”
Rahula Strohl: “Saints march in–and crawl out”
Stick Figure: Bears, schmears! I still haven’t seen any DARN pandas! Sorry about saying “darn.”
TOPIC 2: GIVE ROBBIE GOULD’S FOOT A NICKNAME.
Jimmy Greenfield: “Digital Hard Drive.”
Phillip Thompson: “McBooty.” Take that, “Grey’s Anatomy.”
Leo Ebersole: “Spanky.”
Rahula Strohl: “Lights Out.” No one’s using that one until September.
Stick Figure: “Gould finger!” Except it’s a toe. Darn–I mean Darm! Darma and Greg!
TOPIC 3: ANY ADVICE FOR DEVIN HESTER ON CATCHING PUNTS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Close your eyes and imagine what any 12-year-old can do.
Phillip Thompson: Visualize each ball as a bag with $10,000 from your next signing bonus, because actually it is.
Leo Ebersole: Quit playing the “how many bounces should I let the ball take before I scoop it up” game.
Rahula Strohl: For every fumble, recovered or not, you owe at least three points.
Stick Figure: What’s a “punt”? Is that a naughty word, like “darn”? Oh, poo, I said it again!
TOPIC 4: WHAT SPORTING EVENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SLEEP THROUGH?
Jimmy Greenfield: Any Lovie Smith press conference.
Phillip Thompson: David Beckham’s weekly modeling of his latest hairstyle–I mean an MLS game.
Leo Ebersole: Any and all figure skating. But Jimmy turns it up so loud …
Rahula Strohl: I’d have to turn on a bowl game to sleep through it, so let’s say curling.
Stick Figure: I’m never sure when I’m awake, actually.
TOPIC 5: WHAT DOES CHRIS WEBBER SIGNING WITH DETROIT MEAN TO THE BULLS?
Jimmy Greenfield: By May, all the Bulls are going to be able to sleep late.
Phillip Thompson: The odds are tiny, but now there’s a slight hope Tyra Banks will visit the United Center.
Leo Ebersole: That the Bulls now have an even more superior bench.
Rahula Strohl: His proximity to Ann Arbor will cause a “Timeout-gate” relapse.
Stick Figure: Aren’t you proud I didn’t say “darn” last time! … Dammit!
