In a game of X’s and O’s, the I’s have it. As do the V’s. Then the X’s get it. And the XL’s. And columnist Mike Downey has got them all, 41–make that XLI–reasons why you should tune in Sunday to watch the NFC championship game.
You’ll see Ricky Manning II (oh, OK, Ricky Manning Jr.).
You’ll see New Orleans kicker John Carney, the most experienced player on the field with XVII years under his belt.
You’ll see the Saints come marching into Soldier Field II, playing for the right to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XLI.
The Bears will be LX short minutes from their first chance to play for the Lombardi Trophy in XXI years. The last time they made it that far, they came home Super Bowl XX champions. But you knew that.
Whose number is up?
Everybody excited about Saints-Bears? Let us count the ways
Here we go, XLI reasons why the (“da”) Bears vs. the Saints (“who dat?”) is going to give one city’s fans the blues and get the other city’s fans all jazzed up for Super Bowl XLI:
I In a flyover to salute the winners of Super Bowl XX in New Orleans, Jim McMahon will begin Sunday’s game by mooning a TV helicopter.
II Further resodding of Soldier Field’s turf will be done on time because it won’t involve FEMA.
III Reggie Bush might give a new home to each fan of the winning team.
IV Oprah Winfrey might give a new car to each fan of the winning team.
V Civic officials in New Orleans continue to recover from the damage done to that city’s great restaurants by Hurricane Katrina and by Refrigerator Perry.
VI In a very unusual wager, Saints owner Tom Benson has a bet with the McCaskey family that Sunday’s losing team must play half of next season’s games in Baton Rouge.
VII The NFL has fined several Bears $5,000 apiece for saying they plan to kick the Saints right in the fleur-de-lis.
VIII It’ll be Jelly Roll Morton and Fats Domino vs. Jake and Elwood Blues in the halftime show.
IX Saints coach Sean Payton is a former Chicago Bruiser of the Arena Football League. We are quite fond here of anybody who has been a Bruiser and anybody who is named Payton.
X Peyton Manning’s dad, former Saints quarterback Archie Manning, phoned and text-messaged Rex Grossman’s parents after the Bears-Rams game of Dec. 11 to congratulate them on Rex’s fine game that night. “Nobody likes to see their kids criticized,” Archie said.
XI Super Bowl XLI could turn out to be Mr. Manning’s kid against Dan and Maureen Grossman’s kid.
XII If New Orleans wins, Mayor Ray Nagin is promising a Mardi Gras for everybody down there. If Chicago wins, Mayor Richard Daley is promising foie gras for everybody up here.
XIII They may have a Drew Brees, but we’ve got a big wind.
XIV They had Bobby Hebert. We have Roger Ebert.
XV They gave the world Huey Long. We gave the world Shelley Long.
XVI Mike Ditka has been head coach of two NFL teams. “Good Ditka” won 106 games, lost 62 with the Bears. “Bad Ditka” won 15 games, lost 33 with the Saints.
XVII Bobby Douglass threw 30 touchdown passes as a Bear. He threw five as a Saint.
XVIII Doug Atkins and Dave Whitsell were in the starting lineup for the 1963 NFL champion Bears. But each is in the Saints’ Hall of Fame.
XIX Jim Finks was GM of the Bears for nine years and the Saints for eight. He is in the Hall of Fame of each, but he never went to a Super Bowl with either one.
XX “Da Bears” skits, inspired by a certain team that won in New Orleans, were the finest work in the careers of Chris Farley, Mike Myers and George Wendt, even though they did give us Tommy Boy, Austin Powers and Norm Peterson.
XXI George W. Bush has yet to refer to Bears players Alex Brown, Mike Brown or Ruben Brown as “Brownie.”
XXII Grossman is a former Florida quarterback. Brees is a former Big Ten quarterback. This alone could make the Bears a 27-point favorite.
XXIII Bears safety Chris Harris went to Louisiana-Monroe on a football scholarship. He turned down a band scholarship.
XXIV New Orleans’ airport is named for Louis Armstrong, a horn player. New Orleans has a player named Joe Horn.
XXV Chicago’s airport is named O’Hare. The team’s coach (Lovie Smith) has no hair.
XXVI New Orleans used to be Al Hirt’s town. Chicago used to be the Big Hurt’s town.
XXVI Chicago beat Seattle, which is the Emerald City. Now it meets New Orleans, which is Emeril Lagasse’s city.
XXVII If you hear a “bam!” out of Emeril, that’s a good thing. If you hear a “bam!” out of Tank Johnson, it’s not.
XXVIII Saints fans once wore brown paper bags on their heads. Freezing Bears fans often need to wear ski masks and hoods on their heads.
XXIX Depending on how Sunday’s game goes, a giant Bears helmet or a brown paper bag could end up on the Picasso and the lions’ heads at the Art Institute.
XXX Wade Wilson, who coaches the Bears’ quarterbacks, once quarterbacked the Saints. He was the backup to Troy Aikman in Super Bowl XXX a year after he got out of New Orleans.
XXXI Bears cornerback Charles Tillman played for Louisiana-Lafayette, whose teams are the Ragin’ Cajuns. Born in Chicago, he is no Cajun and he very rarely rages.
XXXII If talk-show queen Oprah is for Chicago, keep in mind that Ellen DeGeneres was born in New Orleans. This could turn into a serious daytime feud.
XXXIIIThe Bears won their only Super Bowl on DeGeneres’ 28th birthday. This kind of hurt has to linger.
XXXIV On the day Walter Payton broke Jim Brown’s rushing record in 1984, it was with a 6-yard run against the Saints.
XXXV Robbie Gould provided the winning points in last season’s 20-17 Bears victory over the Saints.
XXXVI Brad Maynard averaged 48.7 yards a punt in that game, including one that went 59 yards.
XXXVII That was the only time the Bears have defeated New Orleans in the 21st Century.
XXXVIII On Oct. 2, 1977, Archie Manning and the Saints came to Soldier Field and embarrassed the Bears 42-24. The headline in the next day’s Chicago Daily News was: “Archie Makes Bears Feel Like Meatheads.”
XXXIX The first time the Saints played at Soldier Field was 1971, a game they lost 35-14. In no home game since have the Bears scored 30 against the Saints.
XL After 40 Super Bowl games, the fabled Bears organization has been in one more than the feeble New Orleans one has.
XLI Since 1908, despite not having a team, New Orleans has won as many World Series as the Cubs.
———-
mikedowney@tribune.com
