Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in Wednesdays. Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive and sign up to make your own guest appearance.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHAT WOULD THE CUBS BE WITHOUT CARLOS ZAMBRANO?
Phillip Thompson: Quieter.
Leo Ebersole: They’d still be like a horror movie, but without the shower scene.
Mike North: What have they been with him?
Whizzer: The Iowa Cubs.
Bag Boy: Now hold on, Leo, let’s not be so quick to toss out that shower scene.
TOPIC 2: WHAT CHICAGO TEAM IS MOST LIKE THE SAINTS AND WHY?
Phillip Thompson: Just like the White Sox, no one knew they existed until they became contenders.
Leo Ebersole: The Bears. They have a rabid fan base, a running back duo and a QB who … throws right-handed.
Mike North: The ’77 Hitmen: Strong, powerful overachievers.
Whizzer: The Blackhawks. I don’t take them seriously either.
Bag Boy: The Cubs. One’s lovable, one’s laughable, but let’s be clear: both are losers.
TOPIC 3: DID YOU GET YOUR TICKETS YET FOR THE BEARS GAME?
Phillip Thompson: I’m just going to dress up as a federal agent and confiscate them at Soldier Field.
Leo Ebersole: Heck yeah! I’m so stoked! They say “void” on the front, and the backs are made of cardboard.
Mike North: No tickets … family room.
Whizzer: I’m the real show in this town.Do the Bears have tickets to me?
Bag Boy:
Um, yeah, about that. If anyticket-holder needs an ear or a toe or a brain, I’m not using mine.
TOPIC 4: WHY IS THE NFL PLAYING A GAME IN LONDON?
Phillip Thompson: The league finally learned how to translate the game: “Hut-hut” is now “pip-pip.”
Leo Ebersole: With the Beckhams leaving, the league deemed England manly enough for a contact sport.
Mike North: Global, baby, global.
Whizzer: It’s about time we invaded them.
Bag Boy:
Players with missing teeth are not a turnoff for them.
TOPIC 5: WHAT’S THE GLOBAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THE SOX SIGNING JOE CREDE?
Phillip Thompson: No foreign players can pass third base without the proper documentation.
Leo Ebersole: Enormous. Imagine if a Gold Glove-caliber third baseman fell into the hands of our enemies.
Mike North: The Earth shook in Bridgeport.
Whizzer: Arms strength is no longer a concern among the superpowers.
Bag Boy:
The world just became safefor Small Ball.
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