Chicagosports.com’s Rahula Strohl is jumping on the bandwagon–the Five on five bandwagon.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHAT’S THE STRANGEST THING ABOUT THE BEARS BEING IN THE SUPER BOWL?
Jimmy Greenfield: That it isn’t Opposite Day. Or is it? It is. But what does that mean then?
Phillip Thompson: That Bag Boy is still here and not strapped to the underbelly of a Miami-bound jet.
Leo Ebersole: Jimmy keeps sobbing hysterically, even when he’s not listening to The Fray.
Rahula Strohl: A Chicago baseball team won the World Series. Nothing is strange in comparison.
Bag Boy: Pretty colors. Pretty, pretty colors. Is this what Stick Figure feels like?
TOPIC 2: WHO’S GOING TO BE MORE OVERHYPED: PEYTON MANNING OR BRIAN URLACHER?
Jimmy Greenfield: Peyton Manning. You can’t overhype Urlacher, he’s already God.
Phillip Thompson: Manning, only because Terry Bradshaw can’t pronounce words like “Urlacher.”
Leo Ebersole: Manning’s thumb. Rub some dirt on it, for crying out loud.
Rahula Strohl: We’d need a 24/7 Urlacher Channel just to get him to Peyton’s level by kickoff.
Bag Boy: Peyton by far. I don’t see HIM visiting my dreams nightly.
TOPIC 3: MAKE UP A PRODUCT ENDORSED BY ANY BEAR.
Jimmy Greenfield: Tank Johnson’s Bulletproof Vests for Kids
Phillip Thompson: Lance Briggs’ Smashed Potatoes
Leo Ebersole: Robbie Gould Bond Medicated Foot Powder
Rahula Strohl: The Nelson Muntz auto-dialer. Calls up all who picked the Saints and says, “HA-ha!”
Bag Boy: Gould Coast Dogs, topped by Brad Maynard’s Mayonnaise
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S THE BENEFIT OF HAVING INDIANAPOLIS SO CLOSE TO US?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’ll be easy to play Ding Dong Ditch with it after the Bears win.
Phillip Thompson: Close enough to taunt them by car, too far for them to retaliate by hayride.
Leo Ebersole: Chicago saves its arsenal of long-range missiles to help the NFC win the Pro Bowl.
Rahula Strohl: If we decide to invade Indiana, taking the capital should be quick and easy.
Bag Boy: They’re downwind of us, which plays right into my plans!
TOPIC 5: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A CHICAGOAN WHO DOESN’T CARE ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL?
Jimmy Greenfield: “What’s it like to not have a soul?”
Phillip Thompson: “Under a little known city statute, we can actually incarcerate you.”
Leo Ebersole: “Hi there. This is my friend, Bag Boy, and this here is his electric cattle prod.”
Rahula Strohl: “C’mon, Ms. McNabb, Donovan had his chance, now it’s the Bears’ turn.”
Bag Boy: “The city limit is Austin Blvd. if you head west, and I’m giving you a 60-second head-start …”
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You can too at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive
