Lovie Smith’s nice, Tony Dungy’s nice, and chicagosports.com’s Adam Caldarelli is … we just can’t say it, even if it kills us! Think you can take him?
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: IF THE COWBOYS SOMEHOW TOOK LOVIE SMITH FROM THE BEARS, YOU WOULD …
Jimmy Greenfield: … file a police report and hope for the best.
Phillip Thompson: … stay off the streets of Chicago for a few days–or at least not stand next to a McCaskey.
Leo Ebersole: … feel unclean. More so than usual.
Adam Caldarelli: … have to change my opinion about that unbelievably lovable Jerry Jones.
Bag Boy: … take a swan dive off the Sears Tower, making sure I land on team president Ted Phillips.
TOPIC 2: WHAT’S ONE SIGN THE NFL’S STEROIDS TESTING POLICY WASN’T TOUGH ENOUGH?
Jimmy Greenfield: Barry Bonds can only drive in cars with sunroofs.
Phillip Thompson: When Jeremy Shockey’s head has gotten too big for his own helmet, somethin’s up.
Leo Ebersole: On his last trip to the San Diego Zoo, Shawne Merri man ate three zebras, an otter and a small child.
Adam Caldarelli: Shawne Merriman is on pace to hit 74 homers.
Bag Boy: The Colts actually have a defense now.
TOPIC 3: WHY WON’T PEYTON MANNING SHOW US HIS THUMB?
Jimmy Greenfield: Because it’s so far stuck up his … hey, a doggie!
Phillip Thompson: You ever hear that expression that starts, “Standing around with your thumb … ?”
Leo Ebersole: It refuses to show up at a news conference without a proper manicure.
Adam Caldarelli: C’mon, we all know Jim Sorgi is starting this game.
Bag Boy: I showed mine once to Soldier Field security and wound up calling Mom for bail money.
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S THE REAL REASON MICHAEL VICK’S VIDEO WAS ERASED?
Jimmy Greenfield: Hey, police smoke weed too.
Phillip Thompson: Knowing how Ron Mexico gets down, I’d say it’s because children were in the room.
Leo Ebersole: It wasn’t eligible for “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”
Adam Caldarelli: Because it showed him getting it on with Screech.
Bag Boy: Maybe they mistook it for game film.
TOPIC 5: A 19-YEAR-OLD IS ELIGIBLE FOR THE NFL DRAFT. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
Jimmy Greenfield: Isiah Thomas will draft him.
Phillip Thompson: Terrell Owens finally gets someone to look up to.
Leo Ebersole: With any luck, he becomes the next coach of the Dallas Cowboys.
Adam Caldarelli: Jerry Krause tries to trade Elton Brand for his draft rights.
Bag Boy: Halftime becomes naptime.
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