Extra peg legs, hooks, eye patches, a sword and rum would be on the packing list of a pirate hitting the open sea. OK, maybe pirates don’t make lists, but if they did, they would not include what this pirate packs — seasick pills.
Yes, Patchy the Pirate gets seasick, even on the rather calm waters of the Hudson River around Manhattan. On a blustery night, Patchy — legally known as Tom Kenny, with tooth blackened and scraggly black beard pushed down — settles his thin frame into a director’s chair to discuss giving voice to the world’s most famous sponge.
Though Kenny may not be instantly recognizable, his voice is. He is arguably the most popular character on television (sorry, Simon). Yes, he is the porous fellow who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Kenny is the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants.
“I’m stunned you can make a living doing this,” Kenny says.
He’s managed to do so for 20 years. What’s striking is that Kenny’s added his voice to so many major cartoons in the past decade he must be the hardest-working man in animation. These include “Rocko’s Modern Life,” “CatDog,” “Family Guy,” “The Wild Thornberrys,” “Dilbert,” “Johnny Bravo,” “Dexter’s Laboratory,” “The PowerPuff Girls,” “Jimmy Neutron,” “The Fairly OddParents,” “Justice League,” “Kim Possible,” “Camp Lazlo,” “Duck Dodgers,” “The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy,” “My Gym Partner’s a Monkey,” “Handy Manny” and “Class of 3000.”
As extensive as this list is, it represents a fraction of Kenny’s work, which spans preschool shows to more adult-themed cartoons. He’s also done live-action performances.
He began his career as a stand-up comic and naturally, held a day job.
“I worked in the bowels of a building, working a machine that filmed checks for people,” he says of his days working for a bank. “Nobody even knew I did stand-up. Then, they’d see my name, and say, ‘Is that you?’ “
“I have no skills,” Kenny, 44, says plainly. “I am the worst career-day guest because I did everything wrong.”
Yet his parents never discouraged him when he was interested in comic books and later in comedy. “Now that I have kids, I realize how nice they were about the whole thing,” he says.
The father of a boy, 8, and a girl, 3, Kenny is a natural with kids. As the boat sways a bit, he adjusts his pirate hat and makes his way onto the open deck. There, dozens of children gather to serve as the background cheering section as he films wraparound promotions for Nickelodeon.
It’s a surreal sight. Kids, all wearing yellow SpongeBob shirts, cheer on command as the ferry sails past the Statue of Liberty. It’s interesting to imagine what the immigrant great-grandparents of these screaming children would think, considering not one child stops to stare at this majestic symbol of freedom. After all, Patchy’s talking.
