Rahula Strohl is a producer of chicagosports.com–and he may or may not be defensive coordinator of the Bears.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WHO’S GOING TO SUFFER MORE: THE BEARS WITHOUT RON RIVERA OR RON RIVERA WITHOUT THE BEARS?
Jimmy Greenfield: The Bears with Rex Grossman.
Phillip Thompson: Trick question: Bears fans will suffer most.
Leo Ebersole: The Bears without Rivera. Not his fault two of the best players on “D” were injured.
Rahula Strohl: Years the Bears have been without Ron Rivera: 1992-1997, 1998-2003. ‘Nuff said.
Bag Boy: Ron, there, there, big guy. Now, you’ve had your hug, let’s talk about your replacement.
TOPIC 2: WHY AREN’T DEREK JETER AND A-ROD CLOSE ANYMORE?
Jimmy Greenfield: I. Could. Not. Care. Less.
Phillip Thompson: Sorry, I heard A-Rod talk about their sleepovers and retreated into my mental cocoon.
Leo Ebersole: I couldn’t say, but it’s clear they don’t see eyeliner-to-eyeliner.
Rahula Strohl: A-Rod said that “7th Heaven” got better after Jeter’s girl
Jessica Biel left.
Bag Boy: They argued over who’s on top … of the batting order, people, geez!
TOPIC 3: HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP ‘COOLED’ WITH ANYONE?
Jimmy Greenfield: Well, Anna Nicole Smith stopped calling. Maybe she lost my cell.
Phillip Thompson: Britney Spears. And I wouldn’t say “cooled” so much as “better ventilated.”
Leo Ebersole: Why don’t you ask Jimmy? And tell him I want my Jessica Alba poster back.
Rahula Strohl: Keira Knightley doesn’t call me anymore. Baby, please! I was drunk, I thought she was you!
Bag Boy: The Blackhawks, on every level imaginable.
TOPIC 4: WHAT WILL MAKE CARLOS ZAMBRANO HAPPY?
Jimmy Greenfield: His lady, an evening listening to Johnny Mathis and two delightful pieces of chicken.
Phillip Thompson: Johnny Mathis?
Leo Ebersole: A World Series ring. … Just kidding. A nine-figure contract.
Rahula Strohl: Bunnies. Bunnies and ponies. And maybe a bar of chocolate.
Bag Boy: Is there shame in giving another man a foot massage? Answer: As a Cubs fan, shame is meaningless.
TOPIC 5: ARE THE BULLS ANY DIFFERENT AFTER THE ALL-STAR BREAK?
Jimmy Greenfield: One player went to Sweden for surgery, but she’s still the same person inside.
Phillip Thompson: Don’t know what happened in Vegas, but Ben Gordon is now the property of the Bellagio.
Leo Ebersole: The guys who came back from Vegas won’t talk unless you present a voucher for a free meal.
Rahula Strohl: Frodo Baggins and Mr. Spock finally settled custody over their love child, Kirk Hinrich.
Bag Boy: Are you kidding me? They haven’t been the same team from game to game!
———-
Visit us at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive




