Chicagosports.com’s Adam Caldarelli wants to know why he wasn’t invited to be on “Dancing With the Stars.” It’s your cha-cha, Adam. It’s simply dreadful. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: WHICH IS THE STRONGER DETROIT RIVALRY: PISTONS-BULLS OR RED WINGS-BLACKHAWKS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Come on, Red Wings vs. Blackhawks is like Shoe vs. Ant.
Phillip Thompson: Believe it or not, a fight’s more likely to break out against the Pistons than at the hockey game.
Leo Ebersole: Excuse me. I just choked on my sandwich when you called Red Wings-Blackhawks a rivalry.
Adam Caldarelli: Pistons. Bill Laimbeer was trash talking after the Radio Shack Shooting Stars.
Bag Boy: If you mean “strong” in terms of odor, then any rivalry with the Hawks.
TOPIC 2: IS THERE ANYONE YOU’D LIKE TO PROMOTE?
Jimmy Greenfield: Brian Griese to starting quarterback. No, this issue isn’t going away.
Phillip Thompson: Meet the Bears’ new defensive coordinator, Chief Illiniwek.
Leo Ebersole: I’d like to promote Daniel Snyder to anything other than owner of the Washington Redskins.
Adam Caldarelli: Myself, to the Wearwolves page.
Bag Boy: It’s time to promote Leo
to master of his domain.
TOPIC 3: WHAT WAS SKY GUY DOING ON MICHIGAN AVENUE?
Jimmy Greenfield: Look, he’s got little Sky Kids to feed, and panhandling is a good living.
Phillip Thompson: Poor Sky’s so starved for scoring he was even losing brownie points.
Leo Ebersole: He heard H&M was having a cape sale.
Adam Caldarelli: Filling in for the vacationing Hi Guy.
Bag Boy: Coaching pigeons on the fast break. Yeah, he’s lost it.
TOPIC 4: WHY AREN’T YOU IN ARIZONA FOR SPRING TRAINING?
Jimmy Greenfield: I need to make a few bucks panhandling on Michigan Avenue.
Phillip Thompson: Just like with nuclear testing in nearby New Mexico, keep a safe distance from the Cubs.
Leo Ebersole: I have to save vacation time for days when Jimmy decides not to wear pants.
Adam Caldarelli: I burn easily.
Bag Boy: I don’t like getting sand in my bag.
TOPIC 5: WHO’S YOUR PICK ON ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’: CLYDE DREXLER, APOLO OHNO OR LAILA ALI?
Jimmy Greenfield: On advice of counsel, I refuse to acknowledge the question.
Phillip Thompson: I’m sure Clyde can glide, but Ms. Ali can float like a butterfly.
Leo Ebersole: Ali by TKO in the fifth.
Adam Caldarelli: Haven’t watched since J. Peterman got robbed in the first season.
Bag Boy: Ohno? Oh, hell to the no.
