Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) joins us Wednesdays.
TOPIC 1: SHOULD THE BEARS GIVE IN TO LANCE BRIGGS’ DEMANDS?
Jimmy Greenfield: They should hold a pot luck dinner for when he’s broke during his holdout.
Phillip Thompson: May not have to. Looks like he has a promising new career in whining.
Leo Ebersole: Yes.
Tell Lance, Rodney Dangerfield had the “no respect” shtick.
Bag Boy: Sorry, I’m too busy shaving “faux fur” off myself to answer that question.
TOPIC 2: WHAT’S THE PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR STAGING A HOLDOUT?
Jimmy Greenfield: Fork goes on the left, knife in the back goes on the right.
Phillip Thompson: It’s customary to offer a sip of your Mai Tai while watching your teammates practice.
Leo Ebersole: You’ll want extra hair spray on hand in case Drew Rosenhaus crashes at your place.
Mike North: Sleeping with drool coming out of the side of your mouth.
Bag Boy: Perhaps you should ask former holdout Cade McNown. Oh, that’s right, no one can find him.
TOPIC 3: RANK THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE PLAY-IN GAME WINNER.
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s lower than a “B” Spring Training game but higher than a Blackhawks game.
Phillip Thompson: On a scale of 1 to 10, how many decimal places can I use?
Leo Ebersole: The bragging rights are right on par with the winner of the World Series of Croquet.
Mike North: Walking the Green Mile.
Bag Boy: Lower than Lance Briggs’ ego but higher than Lance Briggs.
TOPIC 4: NOW THAT HE’S FINISHED AT ILLINOIS, WHERE WILL CHIEF ILLINIWEK SHOW UP NEXT?
Jimmy Greenfield: He’s been hired as the understudy to Ronnie “Woo-woo.”
Phillip Thompson: Would it be wrong to say, “hanging out in front of a cigar store?”
Leo Ebersole: In the VH1 original film “The Rise of the Village People.”
Mike North: He’ll probably become The Score’s college basketball expert.
Bag Boy: A VH1 reality show, where all has-beens end up.
TOPIC 5: WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR CONCERN IN ARIZONA RIGHT NOW?
Jimmy Greenfield: That Mark Prior is the play-in game of pitchers.
Phillip Thompson: That the Cubs could hide Mark Prior on the disabled list and no one would question it.
Leo Ebersole: Sorry. Arizona doesn’t matter until BCS time.
Mike North: That John McCain is losing to Rudy by double digits.
Bag Boy: Carlos Zambrano, whether it’s giving up walks or remembering how to walk.
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E-mail the crew at redeyesports@tribune.com.
