Adam Caldarelli of chicagosports.com adds some levity to the Five. Look at him. Doesn’t he look like a fun guy? Sign up for the fun at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: WHAT WILL BE THE DECIDING FACTOR IN ROGER CLEMENS’ DECISION TO PLAY?
Jimmy Greenfield: Whether or not he’s uncomfortable using a walker on the mound.
Phillip Thompson: Whether he’s getting the press his ego craves. It’s a new kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.
Leo Ebersole: He’ll only go where he can also be the city’s starting NFL QB. So Houston it is.
Adam Caldarelli: If he can get a new steroid shipment on time.
Bag Boy: He’ll come back to Houston just for Cubs series.
TOPIC 2: WHAT WILL JOE THEISMANN BRING TO THE COLLEGE GAME?
Jimmy Greenfield: A love for the game surpassed only by a love for himself.
Phillip Thompson: Even more of an incentive for young players to go pro.
Leo Ebersole: A shiny hairpiece, unless my eyes deceive me.
Adam Caldarelli: The same annoying, constant blathering he brought to pro football.
Bag Boy: The Notre Dame mystique, which nowadays is more like the Notre Dame mistake.
TOPIC 3: IF BEN WALLACE’S SHOE WILL BE CALLED ‘BIG BEN,’ WHAT WILL YOURS BE CALLED?
Jimmy Greenfield: “El Zapato!”
Phillip Thompson: “Phila.”
Leo Ebersole: The LE-X1856ZB2K22182. Rolls right off the tongue.
Adam Caldarelli: “Smells like microwave popcorn.”
Bag Boy: “Bags 4 Shoes.” A big seller with railroad tramps.
TOPIC 4: WHAT ELSE SHOULD THE REDSKINS OFFER FOR LANCE BRIGGS?
Jimmy Greenfield: A lifetime supply of “El Zapatos!”
Phillip Thompson: Mark Brunell.
Leo Ebersole: It’s only common courtesy to pay for shipping these days
Adam Caldarelli: Wilber Marshall.
Bag Boy: Their resignation.
TOPIC 5: WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP, WHO DO YOU THINK IS IN THURSDAY’S NIT CHAMPIONSHIP?
Jimmy Greenfield: It’s at Madison Square Garden, right? Fresno State and Elton John.
Phillip Thompson: “Wit” and “pick.”
Leo Ebersole: South Carolina, Wichita State. The people demand a Gamecocks-Shockers matchup.
Adam Caldarelli: Clemson and West Virginia. Got ’em in my NIT pool.
Bag Boy: Vince McMahon and Donald Trump.
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